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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: No Mom Talk Monday-Truth One

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No Mom Talk Monday-Truth One

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: No Mom Talk Monday-Truth One

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

October 25, 2010

No Mom Talk Monday-Truth One

If you are here for No Mom Talk Monday…WELCOME! Grab a button, some coffee and go sit in the corner {or on the couch or wherever you can find a quiet space…if anywhere} and get some YOU time! This is the time during the week where you leave the motherhood and the parenting behind for a few minutes and just talk about YOU. Whatever you want. I’ll even let you talk about your husband…but this is meant to be a time for you to get back to the aspects of you that sometimes get pushed to the wayside.

**Don’t forget to check out the new Live Beautiful Community! Join in, leave an intro and get to know some of the fellow “no mom talkers.”

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For me today, I’ll be writing out one of the “truths” from my 30 Days of Truth Challenge {for more information about the challenge and to join the community…click here}.

Like many of you who have already started the challenge, I’m a little intimidated by the bluntness of the first question…something you hate about yourself.

Hate is a strong word. I don’t use hate…well, ever. There are, however, several things that I truly dislike about myself.

I don’t like that I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s a good thing that I’m so passionate and that I feel things so deeply…but it’s really a bad thing most of the time. Growing up, I got my feelings hurt really easily. And even now, sometimes I still do. I let things that shouldn’t bother me. When Hubby and I first got married, everything he said effected me. If he didn’t show just the right amount of enthusiasm over something, it broke my heart. If he showed too much, I assumed he was lying. If he said something the “wrong way” it made me cry. This is a nasty, nasty habit that I work hard to control. I still struggle with it sometimes but with the husband being gone for the past 6 1/2 months, it is something that I have had to force myself to keep in check. If I allowed this to over power me, our marriage would have really struggled.

truthbutton1And by being so passionate about things and wearing my feelings so close to my heart, I get hurt a lot. When something happens or when we get good news, I jump all in. Like with this move to Alaska…hubby told me that’s where we were going and I’ve dove into it head first. If things were to change {and, if you know how the military is, they very well could}, it would really upset me. If things don’t go like I plan them sometimes, it tears me up. Which leaves me feeling [and looking…yikes] like an emotional basket case most days.

I also dislike the fact that I am insecure. Sure I may seem all bright, cheery and bubbly on the computer…but if I were to meet you in person, I would be hesitant, shy and maybe even seem standoffish. I worry about what people think. I am slowly but surely getting over this habit-with much help from my flippant husband-but it is a work in progress. I don’t like that I let me fear of what others think of me hold me back. I worry that when people look at my photography they secretly think I should throw in the towel. If I wear a cute new outfit and go out to eat or something, I am constantly worrying that people who walk by are thinking or whispering that I look ridiculous. I have an uncanny fear of becoming “that mom.” You know…the one who wears clothes that don’t fit or clothing she obviously pulled from her teenage daughters closet [Think the Tide Stain Release commercial with the Green Shirt…] ::Shiver:: I never want to be her.

I dislike that I allow insecurity to keep me from doing things that I know I would excel in. When I was in high school, I never ran for Student Council or anything because I always just assumed I wouldn’t win because I wasn’t part of the “in” crowd and I was terrified of rejection. These fears overtook me and I used my insecurity to seek out really unhealthy relationships and do things that I am not proud of.

I dislike that I am self conscious about my body but won’t make time to fix the things I don’t like. For starters I allow myself to make comparisons to super models and celebrity moms who have nannies raising their children so they can hit the gym 6 million times a day or pay oodles of cash for tummy tucks and breast implants. That isn’t reality. But I do it anyway. And then, when a free moment comes and I could squeeze in a cardio DVD or the 30 Day Shred, I would rather sit and watch TV…because  I never do. And then I feel lazy. Which I also dislike.

I dislike that I was able to come up with so many things that I dislike.

Make sure that you include the No Mom Talk Monday button in your post as well as a 30 Days of Truth button [if you are doing a truth for No Mom Talk…] You can also find the full list of ladies doing the Truth Challenge in the Community!

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