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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: The Best & Worst Day of my Life

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The Best & Worst Day of my Life

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: The Best & Worst Day of my Life

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

April 18, 2010

The Best & Worst Day of my Life

I’m back to the blogging world. I’ve been MIA for a little while, but hopefully I am going to be able to get back on some kind of schedule. Some kind of normalcy is much needed. The past week or so things have been way busier and way more frustrating and emotional than I ever cared to have to deal with. But we’re dealing. The best way that we can with the best attitude that we can.

First, I do want to thank each and every single one of you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers on Saturday. I received emails, tweets, retweets, facebook messages and comments from so many of you and I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that. I could literally feel you guys’ prayers working and there was an innate sense of peace and ease that came and went throughout the day. And I know that that was thanks to all of you lifting me, my husband and our little boy up. So thank you.  :)

Saturday was quite easily the hardest day of my life. I might even go as far as to say it was the worst. Definitely one of the worst to date, I will admit. I do not do good with ‘goodbyes’ at all. And there were way more of them on Saturday than I wanted to deal with. We went out to eat Friday night and tried to relax and take our minds off of everything, but the fact that hubby had to leave the next day was still a dark and looming damper on our night. When we got back and got the packing done and the little man put to bed, I lost it. When the lights got turned off and hubby and I crawled in bed for the last night for a while, I couldn’t pretend that it was all ok anymore.

I cried. And cried. And cried. And cried. Then I fell asleep, woke up and cried some more. Watched hubby tell Little Man goodbye and cried even harder. Made it to the Montgomery Airport without crying, but lost it again in the terminal. Then when I thought I had finally regained some composure, they announced the boarding call for his flight. And that was it. I went to pieces. He got upset. The people around us were staring at us with the look of pity because they were having to watch our very emotional goodbye.

But what can I say? I am absolutely totally and completely even MORE head over heels in love with my husband today than I was when we got married two years ago. Two years ago to the date actually.  :) Yep. Today is our anniversary and I will be spending it alone for the most part. And to be honest, if I can’t spend it with hubby, then I would rather be alone. Not with anyone else [except for little man of course]. So my plan for today is to catch up on some blogs, finishing editing most of the pictures from my Saturday photoshoot, and relax. I bought a movie out of the $5 bin at Walmart last night and I’ll probably watch it, take little man out to play in the yard and just chill.

This day two years ago was the absolute happiest day of my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband, and certainly couldn’t have found one that would compliment me and complete me any better than Hubby does. It’s almost scary sometimes, and we tend to feed off of one another. When he gets hyped up about something, so do I. When I am mellow and relaxed, so is he. We just coordinate so naturally. I know that the only way two people could have ever been so perfectly compatible was if the Good Lord paired them together, and he so obviously did.

So today, while I just got over [and still am getting over] the worst day of my life, I’m going to enjoy what will always mark the best day of my life. The past two years have been full of moments and memories that I will cherish for years and years and years to come. And while we are apart today, there is no one else I would rather belong to. No one else I would rather have to deal with this separation with. It’s like Lady Antebellum sings: I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all…

I’d rather hurt and have my moments of being upset that hubby isn’t here with us right now, than to not feel anything. Than to not even have anyone to feel anything for. We may not be together today, but I’m still the love struck girl I was on my wedding day. And that feeling only gets stronger with each passing day. And so, to my husband-who I know at some point today will read this blog-I leave this:

You are the love of my life…the one person that truly understands me and completes me…and the only person I could ever imagine spending my life with. I thank God for bringing us together every single day and stand in awe at the fact that someone as amazing as you could love me.  :) You are a wonderful husband, an amazing father and a good man. A man that I am proud to have standing beside me through thick and thin, good times and bad, trials and triumphs. I am so proud of you and all that you have done and are yet to do. I know we can’t be together today, but there is no one else that I would rather be celebrating this occasion with. I love you more than you will ever know. Loved you yesterday, love you still. Always have, always will. You’re the best.

Go ahead and cue the synchronized ‘Awwwww…"’ if you want. This separation thing is hard, and I’m sure I’ll probably even shed a few tears before the day is over. But I know that all of this is temporary and that things are going to get easier. Little Man and I are probably going to fly out in a few weeks to visit once things settle down for him and until then we’ll just tick off the days until our little family is back together again.

April 19, 2008 was the beginning of our life together. As a unit. As husband and wife. As partners. And today, two years later, April 19 marks the beginning of a whole new phase of our lives. A time in our lives that is just as scary, new and exciting as the beginning of our marriage was. But there’s no one else I’d rather walk this path with. Hand in hand we’ll tackle whatever life throws at us. Because we are in fact a team. A unit. A partnership.

I love you so much, babe! I hope you have a wonderful first day of class. I can’t wait to hear all about it. I miss you and so does the Monkey Man! Study hard! Do Good! Hurry home!!! :) Mwah!

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