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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Can you Deal? Do you even want to?

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Can you Deal? Do you even want to?

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Can you Deal? Do you even want to?

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

February 25, 2010

Can you Deal? Do you even want to?

I'm a little stuck as to how to start this post.

Could be because I'm only halfway concentrating as I sit here at my computer munching on a leftover cinnemon roll and listening to Jason Aldean on CMT. Or because it's unusually cold in my living room this morning and I'm sitting right beside the sliding glass doors where there is a slight draft blowing at my feet. Or it could be because the idiot groundskeepers are weed-eating outside of my patio AND outside of little man's bedroom window-resulting in his very LOUD refusal to nap. Or maybe it could just be because I just don't know how to start this post.

Some people just can't handle some of the aspects of life. Have you ever thought about that? That some people just have a hard time dealing wtih things that happen in life? I've noticed that over the years, especially in the time that we have been in Florida. I think it's just a mentality that people are brought up around. And there are a lot of people that don't know how to take people like me or my husband and our ability to just, well cope and deal.

Just like this move.

I have had more people bringing up the not-so-pleasant aspects of this move than I've had people being happy for us. {Almost} everyone I have talked to has dwelled on the fact that Hubby will be gone for 4 1/2 months. Nevermind that Little Man & I will be at home surrounded by family that we rarely see, visiting hubby every month for several days at a time, and that we will have email, facebook and webcam to keep in touch. Or the fact that Hubby is moving up in rank or will be getting a raise, or that he will be getting paid to do something that he absolutely loves.

Forget all that. They want to focus on the bad. The 'being gone.'

And that brings me back to my initial point. Some people just can't handle things like that. I've heard more, "I couldn't do it...I don't know how I would manage...How is your marriage going to survive that?" since the news was put out there than I ever imagined I would here. How am I going to do it? Because it's LIFE and because I have to.  Do I want Hubby to leave? Or course not. Will I survive with him gone? Absolutely. Will our marriage survive the seperation? Without a shadow of a doubt.

I think that goes for every aspect of life. There isn't a day that goes by that we can't find the negative of a situation. Life isn't perfect. By any means. But rather than getting ourselves bogged down in the things that don't go according to our plan, we endure. We move on. We live through it. We stop complaining and we move past it.

I never really noticed it until I got away from Alabama, but there are a lot of people that just aren't raised the way that we are raised back home. We're raised to have a thick skin, to let things roll off of us, and to move on. We don't wallow in sadness and hurt feelings. We just brush it off, acknowledge that not everyone is going to like us, personalities are going to crash, and that not everything in life happens according to the plan we think we have.

Me, personally, my feelings don't really get hurt that often. If you don't like me, that's ok. I don't do confrontation because that's wasted time. I don't argue with people over politics because you can't change their mind. And I don't usually argue with someone about football...because everyone in the South knows that it's second to religion for most people. When something bad happens during the day or the week or whatever, I pick myself up, dust off and go tackle it. I hit things head on. And a lot of people are just kind of flabbergasted by that kind of mindset. [And if that mindset floors you, then you would really not know what to think about my Hubby. His mentality is even stronger than mine. Haha!]

I think my mindset comes from growing up without that picturesque childhood. I mean, I had a good childhood, that's not what I am saying. I just mean growing up in a home where things weren't always perfect and my parents never tried to put up a front to pretend that they were. My parents fought. They argued. My sister and I almost killed each other {and sometimes I feel like I still could. Haha. Kidding. But not really.} We went through financial hardship..and for a period, there was a lot of. But you know what? We got over it.

When things were bad financially, you know what my dad did? You ready for it? He got up and went to work. He didn't sit around and wait for a handout or wait for someone to do it for him. When my sister and I fought, you know what we did? We got over it. When my parents fought and hurt [not physically...I'm going for emotional hurt here] one another, you know what they did? They cooled down, talked it out, and forgave one another. That's what you do. You take the good times with the bad. And you take the bad times with a grain of salt and move on.

We have got to stop dwelling on things that make us unhappy. I've been there. I've done that. I've held my feelings in, I've allowed things to hurt me and scar me and knock me down. But I refuse to live that way anymore. I decided last year that I was done allowing the unfortunate circumstances hold me back. I refuse to let people and their words damper my spirits. I refuse to let the inconvenient things in life knock me down and steal my joy. Life is too short for that.

So while Hubby is gone, instead of focusing on the fact that he won't be there with us, I'm going to rejoice in the fact that: he has a job, he is doing what he loves, and that we live in a culture where we have the technology to keep in touch. There is so much more to focus on besides the things that are uncomfortable. And I applaud all of you who tackle life head on and don't get bogged down in the negative. That's why I read the blogs that I read. Because you can handle it. That's why I'm friends with the people I'm friends with it. Because they know how to take the tough stuff. That's why I married the man that I married. Because he has a tough shell and life doens't too often knock him off of his feet. And when it does instead of laying there and wallowing, he swallows his pride and he handles it.

Here's to living positive and dealing with the hardtimes. We can all do it. We just have to want to.

Happy Thursday Everyone! YAY for the weekend! {well, for me anyway!
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