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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Worth fighting for...

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Worth fighting for...

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Worth fighting for...

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

January 25, 2010

Worth fighting for...

I've been thinking alot about marriage lately.

Maybe it's because it's drawing nearer to mine and hubby's anniversary {ok, so it's not until April, but still}. Maybe it's because I'm blissfully happy in my marriage right now and I want to stay that way. Maybe it's just because I'm a woman and I'm allowed to think about marriage. No matter, the sanctity of the wedding vows and the light-heartedness that goes into it these days frustrates me.

I think back to when I was a little girl and used to watch the fairy tale princess movies...there was a picture perfect ideal set for what I wanted my future to be like. I would marry a man that would sweep me off of my feet and we would live happily ever after. Never did I ever about the fact that maybe my marriage wouldn't last. That's not what little girls think about.

And as a grown and married woman now, that's not the kind of thing that I think about. About my marriage ever ending. About the vows that I took on April 19, 2008 not really meaning anything. That they would hold up through all of the good times, but as soon as things got rocky that I would head for the door and throw in the towel. Hubby and I had a good long talk about divorce before we said the "I do's." We decided then and there that we would work through the hard times and that we wouldn't give up on our marriage. And I think that's the glue that holds us together.

Marriage is hard. I've said that time and time again. God's standards for marriage and the ones that society sets forth are completely diferent. Society says that it's okay to leave your spouse whenever you feel like it. If you get bored with what you've got, then it's okay to trade them in for someone else just because you can. Take Tiger Woods for example. Or Brad Pitt. Or Jon Gosselin. All married men, two of them had kids, and they just up and left. Just because they found a new woman {or several women...} that they thought would bring them something better. And it's not just celebritties. It's every day people too. Family, friends, neighbors...every time you turn around.

When Hubby & I first got married, my scared insecure little girl side used to freak out and worry that I was going to be one of those women. Not because of anything that my husband did, but just because it seemed like the norm. You stay married for a while, something better comes along, and then you divorce. But I tell ya', God's plan is totally and completely different. It took a while {and by a while I mean over a year} to allow God to heal me of that fear. To heal me of the worry and the pain that was my past and let go of the lies that I had believed for so long. It took a lot of reasurance from my wonderful husband to convince me that the garbage that was in my head was just that-in my head.

Hubby and I have learned to let go of things that hurt us and cause one another pain. We've learned to see past the social stigma that there is on marriage and together we have decided to have a marriage like God intended. We encourage one another, we pray for one another, we share responsibilities and help each other out. God is teaching me how to be the kind of wife that my husband deserves and he's showing us together how to have the kind of marriage that glorifies him. We aren't perfect. We still get frustrated with one another...sometimes more than once a day. But never, have I ever even thought about finding someone else. Nor do I want anyone else. I don't understand these husbands and wives that tear their marriages and their families apart for the sake of their own selifishness.

Sorry. Guess I got up on my soap-box this morning, but this was just on my heart. And I know there are a lot of women who read my blog that feel the same way about their husbands. Women who love their husbands more today than they did the day that they got married. Women who pray for their husbands and who strive every single day to be the kind of wives that God calls them to be. Women who fight and will always fight to have the kind of marriage they deserve and that God wants. "Love's not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for." You'll have to excuse me now...I'm going to text my husband and tell him how much I love him. Then I'm going to lay out something to fix him for supper.

Happy Monday!


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At January 25, 2010 at 10:58 AM , Blogger Much More Than Mommy said...

Were you quoting the song that's on the "Fireproof" soundtrack? LOVE IT. Love the post, too. You are so right -- we do have to "do" marriage GOD'S way, and not let other things we see and hear creep in.

The Husband and I have a motto... We were going to put it on a magnet on our fridge but thought it might creep out company and freak out our oldest daughter now that she can read. "Death Before Divorce." :-)

A loving marriage *is* worth fighting for.

At January 25, 2010 at 11:02 AM , Blogger Mandi Miller said...

That was a great post! It frustrates me too how people take their vows so lightly. I really hate the "I just don't love him/her anymore thing" and the "I'm not happy" thing. I am glad I can rest secure knowing that my husband and I are more committed to loving each other now than we were 2 years ago. My marriage isn't about me or my husband but is about US serving the Lord TOGETHER as ONE. Thanks you for writing this! So many people out there need to hear it.

At January 25, 2010 at 11:55 AM , Blogger Niks La Mode. said...

Fantastic post and very inspiring!

At January 25, 2010 at 4:49 PM , Blogger Nicolasa said...

Great post! I, too, went through the fearsome year of thinking that something would just break and we'd be done even though, like you two, we knew from the beginning that divorce was just not an option. I am finally over my worries and things have been absolutely fantastic!

At January 25, 2010 at 6:35 PM , Blogger Traci Michele said...

Hey there! I love your blog. I found you over at Monica's Pixel Perfect site.

LOVED this post! I think I'm going to do a post about Pillow Talk! I think Monica's post are fabulous!


At January 26, 2010 at 7:04 PM , Blogger ModernMom said...

Sounds like you are on firm ground. :) It's good to acknowledge what you have and hold on to it tight.

At January 27, 2010 at 2:47 PM , Blogger happygal said...

This is just an inspiring, outstanding post. I just stumbled across your blog for the first time today and I'll be back for sure. thanks for sharing these thought!

At January 27, 2010 at 3:47 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree. Marriage is hard work. But, when you put in the work, it is soooo rewarding. We have to keep at it. Thanks for the post!


At January 29, 2010 at 8:00 AM , Blogger Sheila said...

Courtney, Don't worry about being on your soapbox! That was beautiful!

And can I try to encourage you in something? One of the tendencies we have when we're newly married is to think whenever we have a fight, "Oh, no, am I going to end up like THEM?" But the truth is you're not.

I know divorce stats are high, but more marriages last than don't. And so I'd just encourage you, whenever those thoughts come in to your head, to push them out! Divorce isn't something that "happens" to someone, like catching a flu. It's something that happens because people are careless.

You're not careless.

So next time you fight, think to yourself, "this is good. We're working on real issues. We're learning how to resolve conflict. We're going to end up stronger."

Don't be scared by it! Make the fight itself reaffirm your commitment to your marriage, if that makes any sense.

And keep God in the focus, and you'll do great!

Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!


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