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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Learning to be Submissive

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Learning to be Submissive

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Learning to be Submissive

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

January 15, 2010

Learning to be Submissive

I strive to be a good wife.

I strive to show my husband the kind of love and affection that he not only needs, but deserves. I try to be a good listener and a wife who is understanding and compassionate to the needs of her husband-no matter how big or how small they may be. I work to give my all to my husband, in all ways. At all times.

I fail. Every single day. In many, many ways. There are days that I am bitter. I snap at my husband for no reason, other than 'just because.' I ignore him when he needs to talk, I don't show him the kind of compassion he needs, and I allow petty, insignificant things to come between the two of us and the way that I should treat him. And if I fail at all of those things, then I most definitely fail at being the submissive wife.

I know we all have ideas of what being submissive means. And, in retrospect they are probably all correct. To me, being submissive is the act of purposefully and deliberately putting my husbands needs before my own. It's the decision to love him, forgive him, encourage him, and pray for him-even when I don't think he deserves it or "I don't feel like it." It's believing in him and knowing that we were meant to be together, even during the times when I think that I could possibly wring his neck. It's being there for him in every way-For better or for worse. Through good times and through bad.

I have a lot to learn about being a wife. God is teaching me so much every day about how to love my husband and bring him honor. I want so badly to be the kind of wife that my husband has "full confidence in." But it takes work. It takes the act of allowing God to move in my life, and allowing him to move my husband. I've talked about this before, but initially when I got married I thought that when I found something that needed changing in my husband, that I was the one that was supposed to change it. I was the one that was supposed to make him different. Make him do the things that I thought he needed to do. I was wrong.

This year, my goal is to learn how to be that submissive wife. How to be the kind of wife that lifts up my husband and encourages him through everything. The kind of wife he knows will take care of the home while he is away. This year, I am deciding to love my husband-no matter what. I am going to respect my husband-because that's what the LORD calls me to do. I'm going to strive for intimacy with my husband-physically, emotinoally, and spiritually. And I'm going to strive to honor and serve GOD through my marriage-because that's my desire. To bring honor and glory to God in every aspect of my life.

I read something the other day {And I'm pretty sure it was on one of the "Fresh Year, Fresh Start blogs, I just can't remember which one} that said, "Maybe God created marriage to make us more holy, rather than to just make us happy." And I believe that whole-heartedly. This year, I want to work toward that every single day. I want to embark on the journey toward spiritual intimacy with my husband and with our God. I want to be the kind of wife that he has confidence in. The kind of wife his sole purpose is to love him, cherish him, and honor him in a way that is pleasing to God. If I can do that, if I can be the kind of wife that draws him closer to Christ, then I have been successful.

Head on over to "Fresh Year, Fresh Start" to read other wives posts on their goals for 2010!


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At January 15, 2010 at 9:32 AM , Blogger Amanda Sikes said...

Great goals! Some that we should all have. Check out my post on praying for our husbands, I think this is one of the best ways to reach a deeper level of intamacy with our husbands and our God.

At January 15, 2010 at 12:46 PM , Anonymous Kristi_runwatch said...

Beautiful post, Courtney!

Oh, so very very true that God wants our holiness above all else.

I appreciated you sharing that you thought you were supposed to 'fix' your husband! LOL... that is such a common message to us - to "train" our husbands. God's message to us is so opposite of that, and it surely does not come naturally!

May God bless you this year as you seek to honor Him and obey Him in your marriage!!

At January 15, 2010 at 2:37 PM , Blogger Mandi Miller said...

Sometimes being submissive is really tough! But you are right, it is simply a choice, a goal that we need to have. Great post!!!

*I would love to do another guest post!! It would definitely have to be after January though. After we get back from this staff retreat we are going to Florida for a few days. Some place on the Atlantic side of Orlando on the beach... I forget the name. Busy busy busy! Things should slow down after that. Thanks for the opportunity!!!

At January 15, 2010 at 3:58 PM , Blogger Kathryn said...

Wow thank you so much for posting this! I also, have decided to strive to be a better wife this year. We have only been married 1 year now, but I think I have been doing it wrong all along, and I know I can improve. Everything you said is very true.

At January 15, 2010 at 4:32 PM , Blogger Christy said...

THat quote came from the book called Sacred Marriage, which is an unbelievably great book. My hubby and I are reading through it now and it definitely gives you a different perspective and challenges you! I definitely recommend it! :)

At January 15, 2010 at 10:10 PM , Blogger Sandy said...

Honestly, you wrote my thoughts. Now, I still have to come with my post. lol! This is an awesome post. Thank you for sharing!

At January 16, 2010 at 1:33 AM , Blogger PixieDust said...

There is an award for you on my blog :)


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