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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: October 2009

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has been moved to new address

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

Sorry for inconvenience...

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: October 2009

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

October 31, 2009

Fear [Halloween Edition]

Ahh...Halloween. Easily one of my least favorite holidays growing up. Forget the candy, forget the trick or treating, forget the costumes. Halloween for me growing up was all about FEAR. I was a wimp. Terrified of the dark, scared to death of those late night creaks and noises that I couldn't explain from my bedroom. Scared of the shadows that bounced off of the wall in my room at night as I lie awake underneath the covers. What had me freaked out and completely dreading that candy filled day in October all the other kids in my class were looking forward to?

Pennywise the Clown & Michael Myers.

I remember sitting on the couch with my daddy when I was probably 5 or 6 years old watching Stephen Kings' "IT" and it scared. me. to. death. Terrified me of clowns. Even Ronald McDonald for a long time. And Michael Myers. ::Shudder:: To this day, no one still scares me as much as he does. Something about the white face and hollow eyes and the way he walks. The way he sort of swaggers after his victims and mocks them with the cocked head and blank stare. Evil. Pure Evil.

This Halloween, I'm better with my fear. I have a 1 year old who will be trick-or-treating for the first time tonight, and I DARE some jerk teenage kid to jump out at him from behind a bush with some hideous mask on. This mama will probably go nuts. I always hated that. It takes the fun out of trick-or-treating. When I was little, I remember being terrified to walk to the door to ask for candy. I knew someone was going to jump out at me. And I hated it. One year, when I was about 8, my sister was probably 3 and we went to the door together to trick or treat. The light outside was on and the front door open. We stood at the screen door, rang the bell, and got nothing. I stood there, staring into the blank house, when suddenly someone with a white mask smacked their face against the glass door to stare at us. I FLIPPED OUT. I ran, leaving my 3 year old sister to fend for herself. And that was it. I never trick or treated again after that.

There is so much evil in this world. Things that are REAL. Things that still scare me. Michael Myers still freaks me out. Honestly. If my husband ever decided he wanted to kill me, all he'd have to do is put on a mask and lay in bed beside me or be standing there when I got out of the shower or something. BAM. Heart attack right there. I lay in bed at night now and can convince myself that someone is standing in the shadows. That I hear someone moving around downstairs. That the second I close my eyes, someone is going to come in our house. It's not that I really worry about these things to the extent of not getting any sleep, but they are there. Freaking me out in the dark. We have a gun in the house, right beside the bed. No one would really stand a chance in our home anyway. LOL But it's the thought that's there.

But, despite monsters and ghouls and ghosts and goblins. The thing that scares me the most...the thing that I fear more than anything else in the world? The "What if's" that come with the day to day. The what if's that result in negative, harmful things to my family. "What if" some moron runs Josh off the road on his way to or home from work? "What if" Noah's ear infection or constant fussiness is something more than just that? "What if" I fall down the stairs and break my leg while I'm home alone with Noah? {I'm clumsy...that's why this one popped into my mind.} "What if" something were to happen to Josh & I both...what about Noah?

These things haunt me day in and day out. These are the things that I could lay in bed and dwell on day in and day out. These are the things that could take over my life and scare me beyond end. Things that I could consume myself with preventing, and consume my mindset with. But I don't.

I memorized these verses early in life. Probably right after I learned John 3:16 and Genesis 1:1.

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL  for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me...Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..." Pslam 23:4 & 6

God is with me. ME. He knows the things that I fear, and he's there to take care of those things. Satan knows the things that I fear and uses those against me to create doubt, uncertainty, and terror inside my heart. Why? Because fear is the same thing as lack of faith. Having fear in something, means that I am questioning God's ability to protect us, keep us safe, and do the best thing for our matter what that thing may be.

So this Halloween, I'll be spending my time walking hand in hand with my husband and my little man up and down the street from house to house trick-or-treating, laughing, and playing the way that children are supposed to on Halloween. Not hovering in the car scared to ask for candy because I don't know who's going to jump out at me. I'll be singing along with Eric Church at his Halloween Concert at the local fair with my husband and riding rides with the family. And tonight, Halloween night, I'll be snuggled up in bed with the love of my life knowing that I'm happy, healthy and safe with the people that matter the most to me.

And HIM? I'll see him on Halloween Eve at the movie theaters with my husband as we watch Rob Zombies version of "Halloween II." He's a dude in a mask. All he's got going for him is his black coveralls and William Shatner mask...scary. Me? I've got the GOD of the Universe, Creator of all things, Alpha & Omega on my side. Who needs a mask?
Happy Halloween All!

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October 29, 2009

Back at home...

We made it back to Alabama safe and sound. We actually made very good time. Josh got off of work at 10:00 so we were able to leave by 11:00, and made the regularly 6 hour journey in a little less than 5 hours. We missed all of the rush hour traffic the whole way and never ran into an accidents or wrecks [which seems to be the biggest time consumer on all of our trips]. We were very lucky. We didn't stop the entire trip. We filled the car up at Walmart right before we hit the interstate to leave St. Petersburg and made it all the way home on 1 tank of gas. One $27.00 to fill the car up tank of gas. Aside from getting to see Noah for the first time in 2 whole weeks, that was the best part of the trip.

We were greeted by a very excited little boy. My mom had just put him down for his nap when we got home. Of course though, we got him up. Duh. He was happy. Very excited. He was half asleep when we picked up him, but then he looked around, realized who we were and that we were there for him and perked up like crazy. He was soooo excited to see us. And so were we.

Anywho. We are here. Safe & sound. Thanks to everyone for praying for us and sending us good travel wishes. We will be here for 10 days. I have a Halloween post scheduled for Saturday, but I will keep you all updated this week and next. Have a safe weekend everyone!


Notes on a Vacation

So. It's that time.

Vacation. Car Trip. Sweet Home Alabama.

This is one of those things that I get mixed feelings about. I love going home to visit. Love heading back to the south [Yes. We live in Florida, which geographically is farther south than Alabama...but it's a whole different kind of southern.] to see the fields and dirt roads. Things are slower and more laid back than they are here. And it's a nice break.

But with that break comes immense, multiple headaches. And arguements. Usually lots of arguements. Where we are going to stay, who is going to get to see us on what day, when we are coming to visit so-and-so. Such a pain. Easily the LEAST anticpated part of our trip.

Us living 6 hours away [which, to us isn't that far. We would go visit more often if Josh's job would let us] no one feels like they get the adequate amount of time with Noah us. And it always starts before we even get there. The phone calls, the questions, the implications. "We wanted to see ya'll --insert day here--," "Well we were going to go --insert event here-- and wanted ya'll to come." It never ends. "Well, you know I/we want ya'll to stay here as much as you can. You know I/we don't mind." Ugh. I hate the guilt trips. The whole thing. Making me and Josh feel bad about not spending time with someone.

We try to divide it out. Really. We try really, really hard. For example, this time, Noah has been with my parents for 9 days. They've gotten him all to themselves for 9 days. Josh's mom had him for 3, and Josh's dady hasn't seen him at all yet. So, we are going to have to incorporate more time with Josh's family than with mine. Seems fair, right? Wrong. No matter who gets the most time...if things were reversed and Josh's mom had had him for 9 still results in hurt feelings and frustration on everyone's behalf. No one feels like we do it fairly. H.E.A.D.A.C.H.E.

This time, there are other things to take into account as far as time occupancy goes. This time there are 3...yes, I said 3 birthday parties to attend. One hosted by my parents, one by Josh's mom & her family, and one by Josh's dad & his family. There is a fair...big, huge event back home. A week long carnival with tons and tons of food, rides, games, crafts, & cattle [Again. This is Alabama folks. Want to know what fair I'm talking about? Click here.] There is Halloween. Which means Noah's first trip Trick-or-Treating. Which means listening to all the grandparents whine because they want us to trick-or-treat with them. There is the fact that Noah's trying to walk now. Which is going to result in all the grandparents wanting us there with them so they can witness the first steps.

I think I'll take my extra large bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol NOW please. Maybe I can medicate myself enough before we get there to keep myself from going crazy.

I get frustrated. [Can you tell?] But I'm glad that they all want to see Noah us. I'm glad they all want to make up for the time that they miss since we are so seperated. I just wish everyone was a little more relaxed about it and a lot more laid back so that we didn't feel like we were being pulled in a million different directions and made to feel guilty when someone gets their feelings hurt.

Anywho. Getting around to it today. Josh is supposed to get off at 3:30, which will put him getting home about 4:00, which will put us leaving about 4:30, which will have us home at around 10:00 [depending on traffic and the status of the police officers that we encounter on the way home.] We make really good time. We don't stop a lot. We fill the car up when we leave, stop about 3 hours into the trip to eat and fill up again and that's it. We probably wouldn't stop at all if we could make it home on one tank of gas. Josh hates to stop.

Wish us luck.Keep us in your prayers. Good Lord knows we will need it. I'm going to try to keep you guys updated via twitter and some new posts from my little brother-in-laws computer while we are there. I have a post or two scheduled for while I'm gone so you won't go completley nuts without me. Hope you all have a fantastic week! See you when I get home!

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October 28, 2009

Wifey Wednesdays

This is the first time I have joined in for this meme, but I thought it looked like it might be fun, so I am going to give it a shot. Sheila over at "To Love, Honor and Vaccum"  hosts it weekly and also gives some pretty fabulous and practical marriage advice. I couldn't really say much on today's topic {Which, I won't share with you so you will have to go to her blog and check it out! Haha!} So instead, I thought I would just write about how the marriage thing works around here for us.

Josh and I have a really good marriage. We both decided BEFORE we got married that divorce wasn't an option at all for us, and that we would work through everything if we had an issue. This isn't to say that our relationship is without its bumps and rough spots, because that is surely not the case. We just know when we argue that we aren't going to let it turn into anything major. We know what sets the other off, and usually tend to avoid it.

We are partners and try to share responsibility as equally as possible. He works all day, everyday, sometimes 12-14 hours at a time. When he gets home, I don't expect him to clean up or cook supper or do laundry. How fair would that be? It's understood that I will keep the house clean and do the cooking for us. Why not? I'm not working to provide an actual income, so why wouldn't I take care of things around the house? Give him a clean house to come home to after a long days work, and a hot meal to eat?

The thing is, he helps out. He doesn't do laundry. I'll admit that. But most nights, he helps me clean up the kitchen after supper [which is my absolute least favorite thing to do in the house], and he will give the baby his bath a lot of times [Noah usually doesn't eat without needing a bath...especially after supper]. He doesn't always expect me to do it. Which is the best part...not feeling like I am expected to do it all. He shares most of the parenting duties. I will admit that I usually feed Noah at every meal [if it's something he can't feed himself] because Josh, bless his heart, can not multi task...AT ALL.

It's a good partnership. One that works for us.

There are some areas that we could work on. We could definitely use some improvement in our area of communication. It's not that either of us are completely out of the loop with what's going on in the others life, we just don't take nor always HAVE the time to talk like we want. We have a child. Of course the Quiet time that we had as newly weds is pretty much gone. And by the time Josh gets home, supper gets cooked and the kitchen gets cleaned, and we give Noah a bath and put him to bed, it's 7:00 or 8:00...and after a long day for both of us, we both want to collapse on the couch and watch TV or play on the computer or just go to bed. We are working on it.

We also need to make more "us" nights. Again, we are working on it. It's hard to find a babysitter here. There aren't many people I feel completely comfortable leaving my son with, not to mention, we live on a tight budget [Dave Ramsey? Hello?] and don't always have the extra money to spend on dinner and a movie. I mean, think about it. Say we eat somewhere like Chili's or Applebees that does the 2/$20 meals...that averages about $30 by the time you add in drinks [we don't drink alcohol, but tea or coke is still $2.50 a piece] and a tip. A movie would be about $15 even with our military discount ticket prices. And then a babysitter...about what, $20? $25? So one date night would average out to be about $65 or $70. I could buy some new clothes with that. Or pay bills. Again, lol. WE ARE WORKING ON IT. Trying to start adding it into our budget [but Dave Ramsey and Finances are a totally different post].

Anywho. There ya go. The things that make our marriage work. If I have learned anything about marriage in our first year and a half, it's that it does take time, patience and a lot of practice to get a good marriage built. It's not something that happens over night. Eventually the "honeymoon" is over and the real world steps in to try to kick your butt. But, we love each other. Sooo much. No one else in the world I would want to be with. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. And I know that he is too.

Stop by Sheila's blog. She has a lot of really fabulous reads! I've just discovered her and L.O.V.E. it! I'm getting ready to head home for 10 whole days, so there is a lot of laundry and a lot of cleaning calling my name!

Happy Wednesday! [Only 2 workdays left for this week! Get Excited!]

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October 27, 2009

A Letter to my son

Dearest Baby Boy,

Should I even call you that anymore? You have grown up so much over the past year. I can not even believe it. It was this day, one year ago, that my life changed for the better. I dreamt about you, prayed for you, and thought about you from the first day that I found out that you were coming. This day finally came, and you arrived. You didn't really cry...more or less grunted a little bit. Taking charge right from the beginning to let the doctor know you didn't appreciate someone smacking your little butt.

I still remember the exact way that I felt when they handed you to me. You lifted your little head and looked around, those bright blue eyes examining the world around you. I remember daddy standing over me, smiling at you, as you reached your little hand up and took his finger...almost like you were shaking his hand in introduction.

Your first week at home, I was terrified. I have never loved another person in this world in the way that I love you. All that I wanted was to do everything right for you. To do things perfect for you, because that is what you deserved. You didn't sleep much. But I enjoyed every moment that we spend together. Me, you, and daddy.

As time has passed this year, I have received the greatest blessings any woman could ask for. I have been able to spend each and every day with you. Watching you grow, watching you learn, watching you discover the world around you. I hold every moment of your past in my heart....something that I will cherish eternally. No one will ever take those moments away from me. Watching you sleep under daddy's arm, feeling your tiny little body as you slept on my chest. I sometimes would just sit and watch you. Not accomplishing anything in our house that needed doing...just because I was so amazed by you and all that you could do. I took a lot of pictures. Of everything that you did.

You are such a special little boy. I know that one day you are going to grow up, one day you will make a mistake, one day you will do something that I don't like. But you are my son. Flesh of my flesh. Nothing you ever do will make me not love you. Nothing you ever say will make me not love you. You, son, hold my heart in a way that no one else ever will.

I want nothing but the best for you in life. Nothing but happiness, nothing but good things. I pray for you daily. I pray that God would reveal himself to you in ways that no one has ever imagined. I pray that he keeps you safe, keeps you healthy, keeps you happy. I pray for your future, I pray for you life.I pray for that special girl that one day will carry you away from me.

But always remember, no matter where you go or what you do, that mommy and daddy love you more than anyone else ever will. You are our heart. Our pride and joy. Our little miracle. Our very own gift from heaven.I wish you and pray you only the greatest things in life, son. Only the best. I am already so very proud of you and all that you are. I know we have so much in our future and I look forward to each one of them.

Happy First Birthday, Little Monkey.
I love you so much more than I could ever, ever say.


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October 26, 2009

My First Year of Motherhood

With Noah's first birthday, came a lot of memories and a lot of reminiscing over the past year.

I don't doubt that I am a good mother. Because I know that I am. But, I am not the mother that I want to be. Not the mother that I could be. Not the mother God wants me to be.There are some things that I want to implement into our lives over the next year. Things that I have discovered, things that God has shown me need work, things that I want to incorporate into our day to day routines. Especially now that Noah is getting older. being the Obsessive Compulsive mom that I am, I have compiled a nice little list for you of things that I want to do different over the next year. Here ya' go:

~ I want to read to Noah more than I do. This is something that I know is so important, but something that I don't do nearly as often as I should. Partly because I can't get him to sit still long enough to read a book. But, now that he is getting older, I want to do it. Everyday. I want to teach him to love books like his daddy and I do.
~ Create traditions and routines for our lives. Christmas traditions, birthday traditions, etc. I want to celebrate half birthdays with a small little something every year...just because I saw it on TV one time and thought it was cute and super fun way to acknowledge each persons importance for no reason.
~ I want to spend more time playing with him. In our culture it is so easy to set a child down in front of the TV and let them zone in while we moms [and dads] go about doing 10,000 other things. I want to change that. Spend time with Noah playing and learning when he is awake and moving about. Not saying that he doesn't need his own "down time" to play alone, but when he wants to play, I want to play with him.
~ I want to take him more places. Yes, he's only 1 and won't remember most of the places we take him, but he will have the photo's one day. Things that right now, he will enjoy even if he won't remember it.
~ I want to incorporate more family time. More time without TV and internet to distract us. More US time to spend together as a family...meaning family dinners around the dining room table WITHOUT the TV on.

These are just a few. I'm sure I will come up with some more as time goes on. I know when he gets a little bit bigger, I want to color with him and do some small crafts and stuff, but that's a little down the road.

What are some things that you take pride in with your family? Some values you instill, some things you do with your children?

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My Daybook for Today

For Today, October 26, 2009;

Outside my Window...the sun is just coming up [yes. I am up surprisingly early this morning.] I can see a few spotty clouds, but I think it is supposed to be a beautiful day today.

I am thinking...that I need to go ahead and make my "List of things I need to pack" for our trip to Alabama Thursday. And that I can't wait to go and see my little big boy! [Yes He's a big boy. He will be an entire year old tomorrow.]
---->Insert new totally random thought here: Since when did country music become a "sexy", pop-rock thing? Watching/Listening to CMT this morning as I type and the music I'm hearing and the videos I'm singing aren't all that "Country." Believe me, I'm from the South. We specialize in country. And I don't think that some way too skinny chick pretending to be a teacher to a bunch of old guys is country music. Ok. George Strait is on now. Please proceed. Sorry for the interruption.

I am thankful for...the nice little break from mommyhood I have had for the past week. I haven't really done much. Caught up on some sleep, redid my entire blog, caught up said blog, and spent some quality time with the husband. I think I was more in need of the mental break than anything else. But now I'm ready to go pick up my big boy! I have no one to play with :( Also thankful for my husband especially. It's been nice to "rekindle" the love this week without the baby. Just being able to actually talk for a change has been fabulous!

I am wearing...PJ's! Duh! It's only, well it's 7:45 now, but it was 6:30 when I started blogging this morning and I haven't gotten around to showering and getting ready [No baby! Remember?!]

I am going...home to Alabama Thursday. Unless Josh talks his boss into letting him take an additional couple of days off so we can leave tomorrow or Wednesday. That would be lovely!

I am hoping...hmmm. That it doesn't take 10,000 hours in the post office today when I go.

On my mind...the things I need to get done around here before we leave. What I want to blog about over the next few days [I am going to leave you guys with some scheduled posts while I'm gone so you don't get restless. Haha]

From the clue. We decided to skip buying a whole bunch of groceries since we are going to be gone for over a week. The supply of food in the pantry is getting very, very low. Haha. Only a few more days though, and Wednesday Night is Chick-Fil-A with the church.

Around the house...things pretty much look like they did when I clenaed up for my parents visit last week. The bed needs to be made, and there are a few odd things that need to be picked up. Nothing major. I'm cleaning up like a crazy person on Wednesday before we leave.

A few plans for the rest of the week...going to the bank and the post office today, Probably helping my friend Amie paint her new house tomorrow then going to workout with some ladies at church tomorrow night, Cleaning my house like a mad woman on Wednesday then FPU on Wednesday Night [followed by a much anticipated supper at Chick-Fil-A with church friends], then HEADING HOME to Alabama on Thursday afternoon when Josh gets off work.

Find other daybookers here.


FMM-My life in the Movies

This morning, Amber over at {aefilkins} is hosting yet another Fabulous "Friend Makin' Monday." This weeks question is...

"If life were a movie, which movie would you want to live in?"

This was kind of a tough one. At first, like 10 million other people, I thought...

But then I realized, that even though I LOVE that movie and would love an Edward or a Jacob chasing after me all the time, I wouldn't like the whole "Not sleeping [ever], blood drinking, have to constantly deal with the Volturri" thing they have going on in those books. Sorry. Just  not for me. :)

Then, I thought about this...

I mean HELLO? Carrie is a successful writer [something I ASPIRE to be one day] with a closet full of shoes to die for. But, when I started thinking about it,  I don't think it's somethiing I would want to live constantly. I mean the glitz and glamour of NYC is great and all, but I watch Real Housewives too and that would get old. I wouldn't want to be running around trying to keep up some kind of "standard" all the time.

Finally, after much pondering over this simple question, I concluded that this is something I could live over and over again. Because I am.

Small down country girl meets the big city only to discover that no matter where she goes, she is still that small town girl. I can totally identify with that. It's kind-of-sort-of the story of what I'm living right now. I grew up in a small town in Alabama and dreamed my entire life of getting out and seeing the world...of making something more of myself than just hanging around the same place until the day that I died. Like Melanie, I have BIG dreams and have the fullest intentions of them coming true. I too ended up with the good ol' boy from Alabama with the big dreams too Love this movie. Sooo much. And truthfully, I don't even own it. Haha.

Anywho. Happy FMM ya'll! Head on over to {aefilkins} to join in the fun!

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October 24, 2009

Playing around with my pictures...

[Edited to add more photo's]

I have been playing around with the photo editing software on my computer today. I downloaded for free because, lets face it, we are in an economic slump and I can't afford to buy Photoshop. It works pretty well. Not as good as photoshop does, but it gets the job done. [Hello? Do you not see what I do with all of my headers? lol] I'm a newbie at this photo editing thing, but it's fun and I enjoy it. Maybe these are considered half-way decent. Would love to know what you think.

This one is my favorite.

This one is one of my favorite pictures. I'm going to play with it some more

I've always loved the black and white photos with just a little bit of color in them. Thought this was cute with the birthday candle.

I love this picture. Not sure if I'm really happy with the way it looks...but I'm new at this remember?

This one I just enhanced alot. Nothing special to it...yet. :)

What are some of your "photo" secrets? Would love to hear from you guys.
Happy Saturday!

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October 23, 2009

I didn't forget. I swear!

Ok. I did bad. I usually try to add these AS SOON as someone is gracious enough to give them to me, but I just haven't done it yet. It was on my list of "things I need to blog about" but somehow or another, it got pushed to the bottom. My sincerest apologies.

Nicolosa over at "Low Expectations" gave me this "Honest Scrap" award...which is reserved for bloggers whose posts are real, and deeply honest. This award is an honor because it is something I strive for in every post. Our society is full of too much rubish and "fake-ism" [yes, I know it's not a word, but it sounds good right there.] Check her out if you are looking for a good & entertaining read!

Mindy over at "Living on 1 [and 1/4] Income" gave me this Kreativ Blogger Award. I am sooo excited about this one, too! I try so hard to be all crafty and creative and feel like I am slacking in that immensly. [However, in my own defense, my little guy is only 1 so he isn't quite at the age for crafts and such yet]. Thanks sooo much Mindy! Check her site out too. She always has a great read!

Now. The rules. You know there has to be rules that go with these. Since they are pretty much the same for both, I'm just going to kill 2 birds with one stone. All I have to do is list 10 things that you don't know about me. :) Always fun! ya' go:

1. I procrastinate. Like crazy. It drives my husband nuts. But, I thrive under pressure and always get more done if I wait until the last minute to do it. It just works for me.

2. I have OCD...self-diagnosed of course, but still. Things have a place and that's where I like it. Sometimes I let it go [especially the days when I clean and feel like no one notices], but usually I am pretty on top of things.

3.I HATE cats! Hate them...the whole cleaning themselves thing freaks me out. Yuck.

4. I change my blog around too much. Not particular reason other than the fact that I get BORED with what it looks like. I would love to do it for some extra cash, but honestly, don't have the stuff to do it. I use and graphics from my google search. I don't have photoshop or any of that fancy stuff. :) Just call me "Kreativ"

5. I am TERRIFIED of roaches. ::Shudder:: They are the grossest thing on the planet. I won't even kill them. I make Josh do it. Yuck.

6. I am obsessed with keeping Noah's nose clean. When I was little I remember going in a store with my mom and there was a little boy in the buggy in front of us covered in dirt and boogers. I made a vow to myself and my unborn children then that as long as I had something to wipe with, there noses would never be crusty and caked over with boogers. It shows a lack of hygiene on the mothers part...Just my opinion.

7.My all time favorite color is RED. If I could, I would decorate the whole house in reds and pinks...too bad the husband refuses to use pink. For anything. He better hope I never have a little girl...all reds and pinks for her room. Mwahaha!

8.I have the strangest dreams. Really. I do. I dream about all kinds of random things that usually don't even make sense. At all. I'm pretty sure that shrinks everywhere would love a look inside my subconscious. No telling what they would find out about me...

9. I love Chick-Fil-A and McDonalds. I could eat one or the other every night of the week. And the thing is, I ALWAYS get the same thing. From both places. Every time.

10. I HATE to talk on the phone. Hate it. I don't answer unless it's someone in my family, a close friend, or my husband. If I don't know you, you better FB me and tell me your number and that you are going to call, or text me. Otherwise I won't answer. And I don't check voicemail either. Good thing it's free because I would never pay to have it. I don't use it.

There you go. Some random facts about me that you may [or may not] have wanted to know. Now, I am supposed to pass this on to deserving blogs. But I will be honest, this is the hardest part to me. I have done this several times, but I think that anyone who reads my blog and enjoys it, is deserving of an award. I'm not the most entertaining person ever and surely don't have the most glamorous or interesting life. I'm just a mom and wife who enjoys telling the world about her family. If you are the same way, please feel free to take an award. [Just link back to me...that part I would like for you to do :) ]


Thanking God on Friday

I haven't been doing very well keeping up with this post. {Well, truthfully, I haven't kept up with A LOT of posts lately.} But, I have some time and wanted to make sure that I got this in TODAY and didn't miss it.

I am thankful for... Josh's job. With unemployment rates as high as they are, I am so happy that Josh has a job that we can depend on. One that we know isn't going anywhere and one that provides a very solid, stable income for our family. I complain and get frustrated with the hours, etc. that he works, but I could not be more grateful for it.

I am thankful for...FRIENDS. God has placed some pretty fabulous people in our lives lately and I am so glad. I went for a looong time without any really close friends and I am so happy that God has given us the right kind of people to spend our time with and fellowship with.

I am thankful for...this nice 2 week break I have gotten from my parental duties. My mom and dad took Noah back to Alabama with them on Monday so I have had all week this week and have all week next week to relax and sleep in. I miss my monkey man, but I won't lie...the "vacation" is super nice!

I am thankful for...Birthdays! Noah's birthday party here last week went really well! We had about 25 people [including all of the little babies that came] and Noah had a blast. Poor little guy was completely tuckered out by the time the party was over. He passed out on the way home from the park and we had to MAKE him get up at 9:00 for a diaper change and a change of clothes. But he got lots of goodies and seemed to have had a blast. [Check out the photos for proof! Haha!]

I am thankful blog, facebook, and the internet. Without which I would have already gone insane the past couple of days with nothing to do and no one to entertain. Thank you Modern Technology!


October 22, 2009

Scary Mommy? Yep. That's me.

Jill over at Scary Mommy is having this FABULOUS little contest...she wants to know what it is that makes us [well, me in this case] "Scary Mommy's." Say what you want, but mom's of any age can be scary. There is no denying it. And since the prizes are so unbelievably awesome and I like the topic, I figured, what the heck? Can't hurt to enter right? {By the way...the prize? A Flip Video camera!}

I'm not sure the things I do would classify me as a "scary mommy." To me, that's one of those pyscho moms that spends every waking moment of her day criticizing her children, screaming, giving unnecessary discipline measures, and never spends any real time with her children. That's a "Scary Mommy." But most of us, I think are just real. We can't all be June Cleaver. Call me an under-achiever or lazy or whatever you want. But I don't have a perfectly run household, the perfect post-baby body, and a grasp on all that is perfect & good for our children.

Allow me to elaborate...
*We eat McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A atleast once a week. Why? Because I either don't feel like cooking or don't feel like cleaning up the dishes after I do the cooking.

*I tend to wash clothes and leave them there for a day or two before they ever make it to my dryer. And then, it's atlest 24 hours before they get folded up. My poor husband digs his work clothes out of the dryer several days a week just because I don't fold them up.

* Thanks to Dave Ramsey & Financial Peace University, we don't purchase a whole lot with a debit card...meaning I have to go in the store to pay for gas. Which means, I usually leave my 1 year old strapped in a locked car while I go inside to pay for it. Do you KNOW how much trouble it is to unstrap a child to walk 10 feet, only to turn around and have to put him back in?

*I leave Noah in the same clothes all day...until bath time. And then usually, especially since it's Florida and ALWAYS ridiculously hot, most of the time I just leave him in a diaper. Why waste the clothes?

*I will give Noah almost anything to stop him from whining. [No, I'm not so horrible as to give him something that will hurt him] Seriously...spoons, paper to wad up, a child-proof tylenol bottle that he can shake. As long as it stops the whining, it's game.

*I let Noah sit in front of the TV in the morning while I lay in bed and try to catch 30 more minutes of sleep. I plop him down with his cheerios and a cup of juice and let him play and watch his "shows."

*I don't do anything organic. So shoot me.

*I stay in my PJ's almost all morning. I tend to wait until Noah takes his afternoon nap before I even bother to get a shower. I do this just in time for the husband to come home and see that I have actually done something during the day.

*I don't usually clean during the week. I wipe down the counters and keep the floor swept, but I don't do any hard cleaning until the weekend. That way, my beloved husband can watch the child while I get it done. Otherwise, I would be stopping every few minutes.

*The days Noah is excessively ill and whiney [usually when he is teething], I put him down for a nap and let him cry it out. Even if he doesn't really need it, just because it's the only thing that buys me any sanity. There are just some days when he gets in these moods when I can't do anything with him.

But you know what? Despite all of my downfalls, I love my son [and my husband] more than anything on this Earth. I take my little boy to church every Sunday. I read to him [not as often as I should, but I do.] I spend a lot of time during the day down on the floor holding him and playing with him. We explore things together, I do my best and try my hardest to teach him. I PRAY for him [again, something I could do more of and alot more specifically]. I try to do what I can with what God has given me. Do I think I am perfect? Heck no. But I think that I am a good mother. I think that I am raising my son the best way that I can. I try each and every day to do better than I did the day before. And I thank God that he has blessed me with such an amazingly sweet little boy.

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October 19, 2009

I blinked...

I dreamed my entire life of having a family. Getting married to a "handsome prince" and having the most beautiful family in the world.

It was April 19, 2008 that my "prince" and I said the I-Do's. And it was a mere three weeks later, on May 9, 2008 that I found out that my entire fairy tale would be coming true sooner than I expected. The 2 pink lines that were laid out before me that Saturday Night scared me to death. I was going to be a mom. A parent. A real life grown up. What the heck did I know about parenting? I wanted it. Had dreamed about it. Had even prayed about the day that I would have a child of my own. But I was terrified.

The months went by...July 8 I found out my little "peanut" was a little little boy. My son.
This was in August, about a month after we discovered we were having a baby. I was "modeling" a night shirt for the new baby.

You want to talk about in over your head? That's how I felt. I was faced with the usual decisions: what to register for, where to register, what colors to do the nursery, the endless doctor visits, and what to name the baby. The name, we already had settled on...Joshua Sawyer Kirkland. Atleast, until we went maternity clothes shopping 2 weeks before my first baby shower. This sweet little lady was sitting on the bench in the middle of the mall with her little boy. His name was Noah. She went on the tell us how much his name meant and why she chose that name for him. Later that afternoon, "The Notebook" was on TV, the sermon on Sunday was about Noah's Faith in God during the flood. We changed our minds, and Joshua Noah became our little boy...

36 Weeks. I was about to POP. Swollen ankles, crazy mood swings, & the beginnings of the sleepless nights to come. I could not wait to hold my little boy. I had felt the first kicks, the wiggles, the elbows...I was still scared to death. How bad would labor hurt? How was I going to take care of a baby? Could I do it? Would I be a good parent? How long would it take to screw my kid up? My due date was November 4...I felt like it was an eternity away.

October 26, 2008.
I hurt so bad I couldn't stand it. Everything ached. I felt like the baby was going to rip through my stomach at any moment. 2:05 AM. Oh Baby! My water broke. 15 hours and 49 minutes later...

This little guy was born. Joshua Noah Kirkland. 6 Pounds, 8 oz, 20 inches long and a head full of dark brown hair. He was perfect. {Sorry the pic is so small...we took it with my cell phone after they wrapped Noah up in his blanket}
My Little Boy. My son. The light of my life and the entire joy of my existence. I had heard someone say before that you don't truly know how much love your heart can hold until you become a mom. Never in my life have I known truer words or purer love.

And, now one year later, I sit here and watch as my little miracle grows and learns day in and day out. I watch him smile. I watch him laugh. I watch him discover the things around him and smile knowing that I have a part in something special. God is truly amazing. How someone can look at something so beautiful and question his existence is beyond my grasp.

My little boy turns one in a week. It feels like yesterday that I was rubbing my tummy telling the little person growing inside me how much I loved him already. How much he meant to me and his daddy. Making him promises of the future...that we wouldn't ever let anything happen to him and that he was more loved than any other little boy in the world.

My fears these days aren't of labor pains and bad hospital experiences. They are of the things he will endure and experience. They are fears that I won't be able to protect him from the cruelty of this world. Fear that he will asks the questions that I can't answer. Fear that he will get off track and not grow up to be the man I pray he will. Fear that I will let him down.

But, the promises remain the same. I promise to love you more and more each day. Mommy will always be here for you. Always there to rock you to sleep. Always there to hold your hand when you walk and catch you when you stumble. I promise to let you learn, to let you discover, to not smother you with my protectivness. To let you grow and become YOU. I promise not to impend my life onto you. I promise that no other little boy in this great big world is as loved and cared for as you are.

The year has gone by so fast. One minute they are handing me this sweet little tiny baby boy, and then I made the mistake...I blinked. And now he's one. I'm scared to do it again. I'm afraid that next time I do, I'll be saying goodbye as he drives off to college or walks down the aisle. Can I freeze this moment? These moments....the ones that mean the most and pass the quickest? No. Rather, I snap the pictures, snuggle when I can as much as I can, give lots of kisses, hug always, and tell him more times I can count that he is special and loved by so many people.

Happy Birthday Baby're still mommy's little prince, daddy's little boy, and our little Chunky Monkey. You are so loved. I pray God blesses you more and more each and every day. I can't wait to watch you grow and smile and laugh and play each and every day that's ahead. We love you so much, son.

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The Simple Woman's Daybook

For today, October 19, 2009:

Outside my skies and a cool breeze. I am absolutely LOVING this weather.

I am little there is to do this week and how much free time I have on my hands.

I am thankful family. My daddy, my mom and my baby sister came to visit this weekend for Noah's birthday party & baby dedication. It is always nice to see them and spend some time together since we live so far away now.

I am praying... for Peace in different areas of life.

From the kitchen...not really sure. No menu plan for the next 2 weeks while we try to save some extra cash for our trip home in November. Maybe pasta?

Around the house...I got everything cleaned up on Friday before my family came and already finished putting everything away from their visit this weekend...things are tidy and clean and laundry is done.

A few plans for the rest of the week...Nothing really. Josh & I have almost 2 full weeks to ourselves since Noah is gone with his Grandparents for the time. We have church on Wednesday & Sunday but aside from that, I'm hoping to get in some extra sleep, get some blogging done, and spend some quality time with the husband. Can't wait!


October 17, 2009

Noah's First 1st Birthday Party {warning: LOTS of photos :) }

Noah had his very FIRST 1st birthday party today. We went to the local park and had cake and chips and dip with my parents and sister, and some friends from church and Josh's work. The rain came in last night and cooled everything off, so it was in the low to mid-60's today. It was a little bit chilly, but a really fun day at the park. Here are just a few of the pictures from today. My sister and my mom took a pile on their camera, so I will add some more of them later.

Josh, Me, My daddy, my mom, and my sister with the birthday boy Playing with his new "Handy Manny" toy
My little guy reading his new book
Playing with the tissue paper
More presents
Yummy Birthday Cake...squishing it between his fingers.
Trying to give mommy & daddy cake
Going for the candle first
Eating chips BEFORE the party got started

He is having 3 more birthday parties in the next couple of weeks when we go home. Everyone is doing a seperate party because our families are so big...which means lots more cake pictures to come. I can't believe my baby is already ONE. Where on Earth has the time gone??

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