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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: March 2009

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has been moved to new address

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

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Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: March 2009

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

March 31, 2009

Why Beautiful Mess?

So, as promised, I finally came up with a new name for my blog. I actually sat down today and made a list with several different names that reflected life and my family. "The Kirkland Family" was just too bland. Everyone knows my last name and knows my family. That name didn't really give us as a family any true definition. I came up with "Manic Mommy" but didn't really like the way it sounded. "Daily Insanity" didn't work either because not every day is truly what I would consider insane.
"Beautiful Mess" seemed to fit perfectly. To me, that's what life is. There are so many good and perfect things around us. Life truly is a beautiful experience. I have a wonderful husband, a precious little boy, a beautiful house, food on the table (and in the pantry...we went shopping today so we are stocked full), and more material possessions than I ever could ever truly need or deserve. Life is a beautiful thing.
But life is messy. There are hard times, bad times, sad times, and those times that you feel like no matter what you do nothing is like it should be. I have a 5 month old, things are messy. The house gets messy. His clothes seem to stay dirty (much thanks to Acid Reflux for that...) Things spill. Life happens. There is no stopping it. But, no matter what happens, it is all still beautiful.
I think of that country song (I can't for the life of me remember who sings it)..."What a beautiful mess, What a beautiful mess I'm in....There's nothing else I'd rather do." That's the way I feel about the life God has blessed me with. There is no one else I would rather be with than my husband. There is no other little boy in the world that will ever have my heart the way that my son does. There is nothing that I don't have. I absolutely love the life that I live.

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That Week..

This week is turning out to be "that" week. You know what kind of week I am talking about. That week that seems like everything either goes wrong or comes at a complete hassle. Mine started on Sunday night. Noah had one of his "I don't really feel like sleeping" nights and got up several times. Something we were hoping he had outgrown, but he still reverts to occasionally. So, naturally, I didn't really get any good sleep. I would finally get in a deep sleep and then he would wake up, so I had to get up. Yesterday was bad. He was ill. Fussy. Wanting to do nothing but scream or be held. He napped maybe an hour and a half all day yesterday. Just didn't want to go to bed. He has 2 teeth already, so I'm thinking that he may be getting another tooth. Ouch. Poor Guy. I admit I get frustrated when he screams like that, but I feel bad because nothing really seems to help. Today is shaping up to be the same as yesterday. We had to go to Walmart first thing this morning. (By "first thing" I mean, like, before 7:00) Big Boy was almost out of diapers and I was too tired last night to go get them when I finally realized that we were almost out. So we get to Walmart, I put Noah in the buggy, all seems well. Till he 1) Spits up his breakfast all over his clean clothes and 2) Starts SCREAMING in the middle of the baby diaper aisle. So, after trying a bottle, a pacifier and just pushing the buggy and none of that works. So, I have to get him out and carry him and try to push the buggy with one hand. Not to mention that even though is was before 7 am, all of those annoying people that walk at a dead crawl up and down the aislewhile in Walmart, yea, they are still there. Just because it's 7 doesn't mean you are going to get rid of them. Anyways, right now he asleep on the couch. Finally. First nap of the day. I am getting a quite moment. I even turned the TV off just so I can enjoy the peace and quite. I'm about to attempt to get a shower and get ready. Not promising that is all going to get done at one time. Yesterday, I did successfully manage to shower and put on makeup before he woke up. This is mommy-hood. Frustrating at times, but that sweet baby boy is worth every single moment of frustration.

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March 30, 2009

Time Out Monday-March 30

This is something that is getting harder and harder to do. Noah is 5 months old now and DEMANDING (notice the emphasis on that word) everyone's undivided attention. And when he isn't getting it, he pitches a FIT. God is definately trying to work on my patience, of that I am completely certain. So, for my very first "Time Out Monday" I guess that I could say that I have spent my 30 minutes of alone time, me time, no-baby time...blogging. I haven't had much time to do anything else today. I wouldn't really count making baby formula and loading the dishwasher as "me time" so this would be about it. I finally got Noah to stop screaming and take a nap so I can actually post this. I have also turned on HGTv and am watching "Designer's Challenge" right now as I type.

Hopefully tonight when Josh gets home from work, I can take some real "me" time and get a few more chapters in my book "Love The One Your With" by Emily Giffin read. I have been attempting to read this book since BEFORE Noah was born, and I am currently on Chapter 7. LOL...this is definately the longest it has ever taken for me to read a book. And I am wanting to start "Twilight" when I get done with that. I wasn't going to get caught up in the hype, but I will admit that I am intrigued by the popularity of the whole thing.

So, yea. This is my Time Out Monday. I finally got the HTML code for a 3 column blog done, now if I can just get my scrapblog page to work so I can create a new header, I will be on my way to a better blog.

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The Simple Woman's Daybook

I have been trying to expand my Blog Reading List and stumbled on a great one yesterday. (Found it via Kelli's blog and then found her blog on the Simple Woman's Daybook.) Thought this was a great blog. Another way to remind us of how blessed we are and to remind us to look around us to see the beauty that God has surrounded us with.
Outside my window: Beautiful Blue and Sunny Skies! Not to mention the beautiful pond that sits a few feet outside of our new back patio...my favorite part of our new house! I am thinking: I really need to work on Noah's room some more...I need to do some serious organizing and list making....I wish Noah would take a nap for a little while so I could get some things done. He is in one of those "I feel ok, but don't want you to do anything but play with me and hold me" moods. I am thankful for: A wonderful husband. An amazing son. A beautiful place to live. Daily Bread. From the kitchen: No clue what's for supper. Josh is working late and we haven't gotten grocery's yet. Probably left over pizza from last night...I know that's nothing to brag about. I am wearing: A blue jean skirt and red quarter length shirt and flip-flops. I am reading: "Love The One Your With" by Emily Giffin...and most likely going to start "Twilight" in the next few days. I am hoping: For several things...most of them personal. Sorry. That means no sharing :) I am creating: I am working on mine and Josh's wedding scrapbook (I am up to the actual wedding photos now.) Then I am starting on Noah's scrapbook. And not to mention I am working on a new layout for my blog. I am hearing: The Wind and a few crickets and ducks around the pond. Around the house: I need to work on Noah's room. I need to finish unpacking. One of my favorite things: Snuggling with my boys while watching TV. A few plans for the rest of the week: Finish Noah's Room. Get what's left of he house unpacked. Update my Home Management Binder. Make out a meal plan. BUY GROCERIES!

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March 29, 2009

The New House...and a few updates...

So, we finally got moved into our new house. We have been staying here for a week and have gotten SO much done. We have most everything painted. My kitchen is completely unpacked, there are pictures hanging in the living room...all we lack is Noah's room, a few things left to paint, and our room. We are getting new furniture so we are holding off on that. I have put up the pictures of the "before" but since we aren't quite finished with the whole house yet, will wait on the "after" photos.
I am also working right now on getting EVERYTHING organized in our lives....something I have attempted to do before, but feel is necessary now that we have a nice new place to live. I am making out a budget, a menu, and a schedule...I am also in the process of giving my blog a much needed facelift....some new backgrounds, a header, a better title....just a work in progress. Wish me luck...I think I have a little bit of work cut out for me.

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March 18, 2009

YAY!

So, we got out of our lease. Thankfully. I ended up having to call the District Manager of our Apartment Complex and have her take care of it. But, needless to say, our lease is now up on April 16. Which, we will be moving on (or before, depending on Josh's exact pay-date) April 1. Super Excited! We rounde up our security deposit, and meet with the realator to give it to her tomorrow. We actually looked at another house, but I don't think it would work out there. The woman who owns it actually has already painted and the colors she chose would be a real hassle to paint over. (Blood Red in the kitchen and Dark Hunter Green in the Den) Not to mention, Noah's room would be smaller. Anyways, now I get to pick my paint colors (Josh isn't very happy that he is going to have to paint) and we are getting some new furniture and stuff (that is as soon as I sell my other stuff on Craigslist.) And I get to redecorate. If anyone knows me, they know how much I enjoy that. HGTv is my Favorite!! I picked out some really cute pillows at BigLots the other day. They were dark chocolate brown, bright green, teal and beige. Thinking about doing that in the living room....I'm hoping to get some brown furniture (we have black in the living room now) and I have red, yellow, light teal and green paisley dishes, so I have to figure out something for the kitchen. Like I said, we are going to make the deposit tomorrow, so I will take some "before" pictures so everyone can see how much I change it when we get moved. YAY! Super Excited!

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March 16, 2009

Lesson Learned...

Josh and I found a house! Well a townhouse atleast...It's got brand new furniture-including a Washer and Dryer (which I don't have now and CAN NOT wait to be able to use!), 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, a Garage, an attic, a security system, a patio that overlooks the pond, a big kitchen with lots of cabinet and counter space....literally everything that we wanted. It's in a great community and we have actually already met the neighbors. The going price for something like this is about $1800 (at the cheapest) but Josh and I found it for only $100 more than what we are paying. And they have agreed to give us a military clause so we won't be held to the rent when we move. It's EXACTLY what we were hoping to find. The only snag we have hit is that the landlord wants 1 months rent for the security deposit to hold it for us, and then the first months rent to move in. That's a lot of money that we honestly don't have just laying around. So, we decided to sell a bunch of stuff that we aren't using right now and some things that we want to get new. Especially since all of our furniture we got when we got married was hand-me-downs. So, I posted our kitchen table (I found one I like better for cheaper than what this one was), our bedroom furniture (again...found a cheaper set for less money that we like better), and my old Laptop that we aren't using- on craigslist.com. We have sold the bedroom furniture and the kitchen table and are getting rid of them tomorrow. Unfortunately though, we got scammed when trying to sell our computer. Long story short, some guy offered to buy it for $750 and have me ship it for him. Then we never got our money. Luckily, we got it back and didn't lose any money, the post office hadn't shipped it yet and gave me my money back. So, needless to say we did learn our lesson on that. We still have a little ways to go on reaching the security deposit, but the lady we are working with is going to hold it for us regardless. She is really nice and seems to understand our situation, so everyone keep your fingers crossed that this will work out for us. I still have some stuff for sale- A Swivel Rocker, Some Farberware Dishes, A Pack-And-Play that has hardly ever been used... We are still having trouble getting out of our lease. We are waiting on a call from the corporate people to let them know what all has been going on. Everyone please pray that we can get out of this. Where we are now is not a good situation for us or our son...we desperately need out of this lease. Hope everyone had a better Monday than we did! God Bless!

March 12, 2009

The past couple of days have been frustrating...it seems like there are times in life that everything happens at one time...everything goes wrong at one time...everyone makes you mad-at one time. It's been that kind of time for us lately. The biggest thing we have been aggravated about lately is this apartment we live in. Ever since we have moved in, we have not been able to get anyone on the "Maintenance" staff to come fix anything. Josh does alot of stuff around here himself because this is a bigger apartment and we know that it takes forever to get anything done. So if it's something we can do ourselves, we do it. But there are some things that would either cost us too much money to repair on our own or stuff that we can't do ourselves. But, since we have moved in we have asked them to fix the window in the kitchen that is bent and won't close, the only big eye on our stove doesn't work, the entire stove really needs re-wiring because the eyes go out all the time, the shower in our extra bathroom has zero water pressure, and the toilet in the extra bathroom runs all the time. Plus, when we moved in we asked them about replacing the carpet in our apartment because it's really, really dingy. They told us WE could replace the carpet at our own cost because they wouldn't do it. Needless to say, we have lived here for 10 months and NOTHING has been fixed. Despite asking over and over and over and over again. Plus, the other day they told us that the shower in mine and Josh's bathroom was leaking into the apartment below us, so they came up here and made us move everything into the extra bathroom (which still has no water pressure) and ripped up the tile and tore apart the shower in our bathroom. That was a week ago....they haven't been back. However, they are completely remodeling the apartment beside us and the apartment below us. COMPLETELY. I saw them bringing in some new appliances (we have a dishwasher that doesn't clean...) and they put brand new carpet in both apartments. Plus new doors on all the bedrooms and closets (Noah's room doesn't even have a closet door...) I am, without a doubt, extremely ill about the situation. I have turned this apartment into a very cozy home, but still there are things (as with any home) that need fixing. And it really ticks me off to pay for stuff and it not work or be fixed like it is supposed to. Plus the manager of our apartment acts like we have no reason to be frustrated...they ripped apart our bathroom and made a mess all over the place and haven't come to clean it up. Of course I'm ill. Josh isn't going to A-School until February of next year atleast, and all of this has just about pushed him to the point of being ready to go ahead and move. We weren't going to move, we were just going to stay where we are. But now, knowing we have another year, we might as well move somewhere nicer since we can't seem to get anything done here. The other thing that has me frustrated is people who won't help you out when you need it. It seems like the harder you try to help people and give to people and do for people, the less they want to help you. Josh and I bend over backwards for people (family, friends, aquaintences), we are just the kind of people that like to help other people. That's just how we are. But it seems like when you are like that, people run over you, take advantage of you and never want to help you when you need it. It seems like it just doesn't matter what you do...you try to be a good person, you try to get ahead in this screwed up world, you try to take care of your family and be good to everyone else...and what happens? You are the one that gets screwed out of everything. Anyways...that's my venting session for tonight. I'm about to watch the new "Grey's Anatomy" and find us a new apartment to move into here in the next few weeks. Seriously...done with this place. We found one apartment that's alot nicer than where we live now with a waterfront view, tennis courts, walking trail, and a washer and dryer in the unit-for $100 more than we pay now. and we don't have any of the above. Man I can't wait to be able to wash clothes in my own house where I don't have to go to a laundry facility!

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March 7, 2009

First Trip to the Beach

We took Noah out to the Beach for the first time today. We went out to St. Pete Beach and spent most of the afternoon. It was in the low 80's and absolutely beautiful outside. He isn't big enough to play in the sand yet, but he had the best time just standing in it and kicking it around....and staring at it. It was so funny to see how amazed he was just to look at the sand. As usual we had the camera so here are some of the pictures.

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March 2, 2009

Rambling...

I have been thinking about a lot of different things lately...don't really know why. I guess that's just the way life is...Mainly, I started thinking about (once again) how much life has changed over the past 4 years of my life...especially the past year. Like I said in my last post, I just don't feel 21 (almost 22). I feel so much older than I really am. I finally feel the full brunt of being an adult. Josh and I had to do blood work and all today for life insurance...Life Insurance. That's not something I have ever thought about. We have life insurance. We have a College Fund opened up for Noah. We have money in a Savings Account...and we have a mutual fund. LOL I used to save my money in a jar shoved in the back of my closet until I wanted to spend it. Now I have "grown up" accounts.

And I have a husband. And a Son. A child. A child of my own. I have always wanted my own child. And I have always dreamed about the day that I would be with the person I was supposed to be with. Having a child changes your perspective on life anyways. I had always heard that, but I never really understood the true seriouseness of that statement until Noah was born. The second that I held him for the first time, I knew that I would do absolutely everything in my power to protect him and take care of him. Like right now. He has 2 teeth coming in (both of his bottom front teeth) and he is getting a cold. Despite the lack of sleep on my part, there is nothing I want more than for him to get well. Even if that means that I have to stay awake all night long, I want him to be ok. I want him to feel good and not hurt.

That's something else that I am amased by. The instincts that kick in when you have a child. I think they are different for men and women, daddy's and mommy's, but instincts take over when you have your own child anyway. From the time Noah was born, I could tell what every cry meant, what every whimper was implying, when he wants to be fed, when he needs changing, when he has a tummy ache, when he just wants attention. I have always been a deep, hard sleeper...now, every noise he makes I hear. I wake up at the slightest sound that something is wrong with him. I'll be completely honest though, I really think that there are some women who are made to be excellent mothers and some who are just there to fill a space in a child's life.

Like I said though, I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother. As far back as I can remember, I never really wanted a career. I wanted a family. Now that I have a family, I am acutely aware of my desire to have a career. It's weird. I have never cared whatsoever about a "career." In high school, there were people in my class that had their future laid out. College, Post-Graduate Studies, Professional Career, Work awhile, then a family. Especially in college. Contrary to popular belief, there weren't but a handful of girls in my sorority that didn't have everything laid out for their futures. I thought when I got to college that I would have some perspective on what I wanted to do. Took a pile of different kinds of classes, thought I would stumble onto something that I would enjoy, actually did enjoy several things, but never found my thing. All I wanted to do was get married. I don't know it's just weird.

My future "career" or whatever has really been on my mind alot lately. Alot Alot. Now that I have my family...my husband and my child, I want more. I want a career. And not just some mediocre job. Some mediocre something just to waste time during the day. Something big. Something that matters. Something that has an affect (or effect...never can remember which word goes with which context) on people. I want to be one of those people that makes a difference. I have always felt like until I got married and had Noah, that everything else up until that point had been mediocre...like I have always been stuck straddling the middle ground. I feel like Josh and Noah are the 2 things that have taken me from mediocre to extraordinary...and now I want more, I want it to continue.

I have always been told I should write. People have read my stories, read my essays, read some of my poetry. They are ok. I'll be honest, some of them are really good. But, maybe I am being modest, but I just don't think they are that good. Not good enough for me to actually make a career out of writing. Josh gets irriatated when I say that...lol, really irritated actually. Maybe I am like every one else with talent and doesn't necessarily realize their potential. I don't know. I took journalism and hated it. But when I read books; Jane Austen or especially Nicholas Sparks, I want to write. I read "The Lucky One" by Nicholas Sparks the other day, and was in awe at how good he writes. How smooth his story is, how real it seems...I would kill to be able to write like that. But I start thinking about a career as a writer, and all I can think about is how "mediocre" that seems. Josh and I had this conversation at Applebees the other day. He gets frustrated with me. But I just can't see spending 4 years in college to get a degree in "Creative Writing" and then sit at home day in and day out to write, just hoping that one day something I write will get published. Even being optimistic, 4 years of college, then 2 or 3 years to write a novel...which usually your first novel never even reaches a publisher...another 2 years to write another, if a publisher takes it, then you look at 8 months to a year to get it in print. So that's 6 years of sitting and hoping in front of a computer just hoping that someone cares enough about what you have to say to publish it.

I don't know. LOL I don't really have any clue why I decided to sit down and type all of this out. Just haven't been online alot lately. I guess I just needed to let out some air for a little while. Noah is sick and teething...he has been ill and whiney, so I haven't had much of a break. And Josh is still recovering from surgery and trying to help as much as he can so we are both wore out. I always feel better when I blog. And these days it's so much easier to do than write. I have got to start writing in my journal more often than I do. The internet is a shaky thing, a notebook will be easier to pass on to Noah or a daughter (if we ever have one)...Alright, I guess I am done rambling for tonight. Need to get some sleep while I can. Noah will probably be up in a few hours.

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