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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Writers Block...

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

December 14, 2009

Writers Block...

I am having a bit of writer's block this morning...

I am sitting in the living room watching HLN and reading my TweetDeck updates. There are a few things that stick out, but nothing really intriguing enough to stir all kinds of "wisdomatic' thoughts in my cloudy mind this morning. I've actually had 2 cups of coffee this morning, and I'm still just not awake. {If you knew the kind of day that I had yesterday you would really wonder why...hubby and I did nothing yesterday and I slept until almost 10:00. So why am I still sleepy?}

It's a mere 11 days until Christmas and I haven't bought the first gift yet. Waiting on payday tomorrow before I do any shopping. Hubby and I aren't getting each other much...just a few small things. He is getting a new computer for school when our Income Tax gets here, and I am really wanting a new camera. I've looked at a Nikon and a Canon and I think I'm going to go with the Nikon. It looks a lot easier to use...I'm a little bit intimidated by the Canon and all of it's fanciness. I also fell in love with the HP laptop that swivels and you can write with it [not sure exactly what the "name" for it is]. I can just envision myself being all "Carrie Bradshaw" in my living room working on my blog. ::Sigh:: Anywho...

{This is the part of my blog that has been deleted and re-written about 9 times since I've been sitting here. I just can't think of what to write...} I've been a little bit frustrated the past week or so. Do you ever just get tired of trying? Tired of trying to be a good friend? Tired of trying to be the "bigger person?" I have been in that kind of mood the past 2 weeks or so. I feel like I try to do so much for people and always get the crappy end of the deal. Try to offer advice and insight on things and then get made out to be a fool or look like an idiot becuase "my advice didn't work" or "wasn't what they were looking for." Tired of no one wanting to make time for something because it's inconvenient for them and doesn't fit into their schedule. But I am expected to drop everything when something works for them.

Tired of people acting one way when they are only around you, and then acting completely different when you are among a group [or just another person]. It's nerve wracking. Maybe that's why I have just been on the outs lately. I've been kind of keeping to myself, not answering the phone for anyone [including family] other than my husband. And hubby is the same way. He's kind of aggravated about the same things. I volunteer for things, offer to do things, and I always get screwed. That ever happen to you?

I feel like I am to the point where I can easily get over it and move on. I am really very happy with my life. Hubby and I have a great marriage and the biggest issues I have to work through are whether or not he picks his clothes up off the floor. ;) Noah is healthy and happy and growing. We are financially stable..not rich but not in despair either. We are happy. And I don't need or want uneccesary drama in my life. I'm not 15. I don't feel like, nor do I have the energy to put into it. If you don't want my help or need my input, then don't ask for it. But don't tell me you do and then make me look like a moron.

So...instead of concerning myself with it, I blog it to get it off my mind. I laugh about it with my husband, and I let it go. We are having Christmas here in Florida this year, just the three of us. We have opted to do that because it works for us. No one is suffering on behalf of our absence or anything like that. It just works better for us and for our situation. And we are happy with our choice. We are going to forego another trip to Alabama so we can enjoy a relaxing Christmas holiday...instead of running all over the place to visit and greet and visit some more. Our families are going to come down to visit us and get a vacation for themselves while they are off for the holidays, and we are going to have a great Christmas. I'm going to go buy my husband and my son Christmas gifts because we rarely ever [seemingly contrary to what some people seem to think] blow money on gifts and material things for ourselves, and this year we aren't going to sacrifice. Maybe that makes us selfish. Maybe that makes us materialistic. But that's OUR choice and our decision to make.

Ok. Sorry. I got on my soapbox there for a few minutes. I guess I will leave you on that one for now. I have a list of lists that I need to make [budgetting, menu planning, to-do list, grocery list, Christmas gift list...] this morning and tons of things that I need to do. Time to get to work. Noah has successfull napped while I was writing {and re-writing} this post and woke up in a fantastic mood. Now he's watching his shows and munching on bananas and cheerios. Time to get busy!
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5 Comments:

At December 14, 2009 at 9:50 AM , Blogger Beth P. said...

I feel like you took thoughts right out of my minds, put them in coherent sentences, and posted them in your blog! I have been feeling the exact same way lately, exactly, and just want to remove myself from everything because of it. Wow, so weird, but so great to know I am not alone.

Good luck getting all of your lists done, and enjoy your shopping! We have some to finish up and I am SO not motivated to do so.

 
At December 14, 2009 at 10:03 AM , Blogger Mandi Miller said...

Sounds like you have some drama makers around you! They irritate me too. It does not make you materialistic to want to buy your family Christmas gifts so forget those people who have issues with that! Some people have nothing else better to do than criticize others. I think there is a way to love them like we are supposed to but be smart enough to not get burned by them. If you find the balance let me know! I would sure like to find it myself! You sure had a great post for having writer's block...

 
At December 14, 2009 at 3:41 PM , Blogger Ria Thurston said...

What an honest post! Thank you for being real - That is what blogging should be about :) Love your blog! I blog about Life as a Wife! I am a newlywed - Love the insight you have about marriage, too!
-Ria

 
At December 14, 2009 at 9:21 PM , Anonymous Montessori Moments said...

What a cute blog!
Nice to meet another Christian Mommy who loves to blog!
Feel free to grab a coffee and visit me sometime!

 
At December 15, 2009 at 12:54 AM , Blogger PixieDust said...

I really enjoy your blog! We share the same opinion on so many things. Fell free to check out my blog as well at http://pixiedusties.blogspot.com

 

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