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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Christmas Shopping Observations...

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Christmas Shopping Observations...

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Christmas Shopping Observations...

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

December 17, 2009

Christmas Shopping Observations...

Christmas Shopping.

Bows, Boxes, Wrapping Paper. Hundreds upon hundreds of people literally pushing, bumping, and shoving one another out of the way in order to find that perfect gift for that certain someone on their list. Little man and I tackled ALL of ours Tuesday. We shopped and shopped and shopped for Hubby's presents and I am quite pleased with what all I found him. As I said before, we aren't really buying one another anything big because we are getting a few things when we get our Income Tax...which is ok with me. It's the little things that I have the most fun buying anyway. Those tiny things that people ask for throughout the year, but then forget that they wanted. Those things make for the greatest surprises on Christmas morning. My only problem is that once I buy presents, I get so excited about having the person open them that I want to exchange gifts right then.

I do a lot of people watching and tend to pay a lot of attention to people around me. I'm that person that sees pretty much every stupid or embarrassing thing that someone does. You know what I mean. I'm that person that sees the things that you would SWEAR no one else saw. My shopping experience on Tuesday gave me the opportunity to see lots of things that I wasn't supposed to see. And today, I am going to share them with you so that you can laugh the same way that I did. {I apologize in advance if you have ever done any of these things...believe me, I have done them too...oh yea, these are in the form of letters as well.}

Dear Swimsuit Man,
I am guessing you are a Snow Bird. You've flown yourself to our neck of the woods to escape the snow and freezing temperatures. You've traded in your ski's and winter coat for flip-flops and shorts. That's great. I'm happy for you. But really? A Speedo? In the Mall? In December? I know it's 85 degrees outside right now and that the sun is blistering warm, but seriously. You aren't actually on the beach right now. Please cover yourself up. Throw on some shorts or something.

The Fashion Police
Dear Cart Pusher,
You have somewhere to be. So do I. I am pushing a buggy FULL of groceries and Christmas Gifts. Could you please stop running over the back of my heels with your shopping cart? If you need to get by, here is an idea: GO AROUND ME! Don't keep bumping into me and then offering a exasperated, "Sorry." Really. The aisle is wide enough for two carts.

Get off of my Butt
Dear Toddler Mom,
I am not one to critique weight or your style of parenting. But do you honestly think that your 30 pound baby who can hardly hold her head up and can't be more than 9 months old NEEDS a chocolate ice cream cone? Just curious. Childhood obesity starts in the early months obviously. Just trying to help. They make really great baby fruits and veggies these days. I will be happy to purchase them for you.

Another Mom
Dear Psychotic Shirt Buyer,
Theren are dozens upon dozens upon dozens of shirts on this shelf. In lots of colors and lots of sizes. Do you really insist on freaking out and shoving me out of the way when all I am doing is looking at the shirts? Not even touching them? Believe me, if you in all honesty have intentions of buying EVERY shirt in here, then I will go somewhere else. They don't mean that much to me. Try toning down the coffee before you start shopping. And maybe getting some sleep.

I was only looking
Dear Impatient Shopper who should be in the 20 Items or less line,
There are 6 things in your buggy. SIX. My cart is overflowing at this point. So is the persons in front of me. And the person behind you. Are you seeing a pattern. They have shorter lines for people like you who don't have a ton of stuff to buy. So if you aren't going to stand in that line, please do not stand behind me and tap your foot and huff and puff while I put my items on the line to be checked out. Similarly, DO NOT stand right behind me and look over my shoulder at how much money I am spending. Do you pay my bills? And when I go to swipe my debit card to check out so I can move out of your way, don't stand directly behind me. Do you want me to get behind you at an ATM? Didn't think so. Merry Christmas.

Get in a shorter line
Dear Food Court Eater,
It's ok. You don't have to pretend that both Chick-Fil-A Chicken Sandwiches, the two large fries, and the over flowing plate of Chinese food at your table are for other people. I have been sitting here for 30 minutes. I saw you get your food. I saw you sit down. I saw you spread the items out in front of other seats as if you were "waiting" on someone. I also have been sitting here long enough to see that you are eating one meal at a time and then rotating them. Making the normal pacerby think that someone WAS sitting there and walked off leaving their dirty tray at your table. It's ok. You are hungry. Just be glad that right now you have a great metabolism because you, Sir, are inhaling thousands of calories. And I see you eyeing the Ice Cream. Go ahead and get some. Not like it will matter now.

I'm watching you

So there you go. Just a few of the funny, yet frustrating things I saw shopping. What kind of hilarity and madness have you witnessed this season? Would love to hear some of your stories.

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At December 17, 2009 at 8:42 AM , Blogger Beth P. said...

Oh my gosh! I've never seen anything like the food court eater. WOW! I'm glad you found some great things for your husband, that is exciting!

At December 17, 2009 at 1:55 PM , Blogger Ria Thurston said...


That is all I can say. You should start a newspaper column :) Isn't it hilarious to people watch, wow!

Yay for presents being done & out of the way...

At December 17, 2009 at 2:03 PM , Blogger Skye said...

Haha, I LOVE all your letters- but the food court one is astonishing! Seriously, that someone would go to all that effort to pretend the food is not his... so weird!

I'm envious- I can't imagine being done any time soon. Like last year, I decided to give a bunch of handmade presents and I have an ENORMOUS to-do list looming ahead of me!

At December 17, 2009 at 3:57 PM , Blogger Mandi Miller said...

This was hilarious!! I have to tell you about my experience last year. I was 1 week away from giving birth and my husband and I got up at 4am on Black Friday to get an ipod touch. The check out line was insane but there was a lady in front of me about 8 months pregnant. As we were chatting waiting to buy our stuff this family with like 4 teens in it CUT in front of both of us! Most people went out of their way to accommodate me when I looked like I was about to pop. We were shocked and were talking about them loud enough for them to hear but they just ignored us! So rude!

I wrote about you on my blog today for my Top Momma post!

At December 17, 2009 at 7:10 PM , Blogger Manic Mommy Meg said...

That my dear was HILARIOUS! I loved the speedo guy! What was he thinking! And the lady on your heels - I would have said something! But those were too funny - People watching is the best!

At December 17, 2009 at 11:33 PM , OpenID sincitysavings said...

OMG. First of all, hilarious! Secondly, I am SO guilty of the food court one. *hangs head in shame* Granted, I didn't have three meals, but rather two McChickens... still, you hit the nail on the head when you said you are THAT person who sees everything you don't want them to see! Haha great post. :]

At December 18, 2009 at 7:53 AM , Blogger Caroline said...

hahaha! I am sooo someone who always gets busted doing something embarrassing. I actually have an abnormal fear that i am going to filmed by one of those secret cameras for "What not to Wear" or another similar show on TV.
Too cute! I like to people watch too, especially at the mall. Stopped by to say hey, you were in front of me in SITS roll-call today! :)

At December 18, 2009 at 8:57 AM , Blogger Alissa said...

This is great. I can go Christmas shopping vicariously through your blog. Now, I know what I'm missing by not going to the mall this year!

At December 18, 2009 at 12:39 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

Those were so hilarious! I've had a few of my own incidents over the past couple weeks while I've been shopping. People watching is best this time of year!

At December 18, 2009 at 9:41 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Author !
I apologise, I can help nothing. I think, you will find the correct decision. Do not despair.


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