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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Wifey Wednesdays

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Wifey Wednesdays

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Wifey Wednesdays

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

October 28, 2009

Wifey Wednesdays

This is the first time I have joined in for this meme, but I thought it looked like it might be fun, so I am going to give it a shot. Sheila over at "To Love, Honor and Vaccum"  hosts it weekly and also gives some pretty fabulous and practical marriage advice. I couldn't really say much on today's topic {Which, I won't share with you so you will have to go to her blog and check it out! Haha!} So instead, I thought I would just write about how the marriage thing works around here for us.

Josh and I have a really good marriage. We both decided BEFORE we got married that divorce wasn't an option at all for us, and that we would work through everything if we had an issue. This isn't to say that our relationship is without its bumps and rough spots, because that is surely not the case. We just know when we argue that we aren't going to let it turn into anything major. We know what sets the other off, and usually tend to avoid it.

We are partners and try to share responsibility as equally as possible. He works all day, everyday, sometimes 12-14 hours at a time. When he gets home, I don't expect him to clean up or cook supper or do laundry. How fair would that be? It's understood that I will keep the house clean and do the cooking for us. Why not? I'm not working to provide an actual income, so why wouldn't I take care of things around the house? Give him a clean house to come home to after a long days work, and a hot meal to eat?

The thing is, he helps out. He doesn't do laundry. I'll admit that. But most nights, he helps me clean up the kitchen after supper [which is my absolute least favorite thing to do in the house], and he will give the baby his bath a lot of times [Noah usually doesn't eat without needing a bath...especially after supper]. He doesn't always expect me to do it. Which is the best part...not feeling like I am expected to do it all. He shares most of the parenting duties. I will admit that I usually feed Noah at every meal [if it's something he can't feed himself] because Josh, bless his heart, can not multi task...AT ALL.

It's a good partnership. One that works for us.

There are some areas that we could work on. We could definitely use some improvement in our area of communication. It's not that either of us are completely out of the loop with what's going on in the others life, we just don't take nor always HAVE the time to talk like we want. We have a child. Of course the Quiet time that we had as newly weds is pretty much gone. And by the time Josh gets home, supper gets cooked and the kitchen gets cleaned, and we give Noah a bath and put him to bed, it's 7:00 or 8:00...and after a long day for both of us, we both want to collapse on the couch and watch TV or play on the computer or just go to bed. We are working on it.

We also need to make more "us" nights. Again, we are working on it. It's hard to find a babysitter here. There aren't many people I feel completely comfortable leaving my son with, not to mention, we live on a tight budget [Dave Ramsey? Hello?] and don't always have the extra money to spend on dinner and a movie. I mean, think about it. Say we eat somewhere like Chili's or Applebees that does the 2/$20 meals...that averages about $30 by the time you add in drinks [we don't drink alcohol, but tea or coke is still $2.50 a piece] and a tip. A movie would be about $15 even with our military discount ticket prices. And then a babysitter...about what, $20? $25? So one date night would average out to be about $65 or $70. I could buy some new clothes with that. Or pay bills. Again, lol. WE ARE WORKING ON IT. Trying to start adding it into our budget [but Dave Ramsey and Finances are a totally different post].

Anywho. There ya go. The things that make our marriage work. If I have learned anything about marriage in our first year and a half, it's that it does take time, patience and a lot of practice to get a good marriage built. It's not something that happens over night. Eventually the "honeymoon" is over and the real world steps in to try to kick your butt. But, we love each other. Sooo much. No one else in the world I would want to be with. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. And I know that he is too.

Stop by Sheila's blog. She has a lot of really fabulous reads! I've just discovered her and L.O.V.E. it! I'm getting ready to head home for 10 whole days, so there is a lot of laundry and a lot of cleaning calling my name!

Happy Wednesday! [Only 2 workdays left for this week! Get Excited!]

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At October 28, 2009 at 9:08 AM , Blogger Sheri said...

Your little guy is a doll! Date nights: Boy do I hear ya! I now have teens so they can watch my little ones, but back in the day it was hard. We would have date nights after the kids went to bed, curl up on the couch in a blanket and watch a movie with hot tea, popcorn, and whatever else sounded good. Just knowing that we would do that helped.

Plus there's the whole money issue. I get that one too. Since we are usually just going for time together we will go somewhere and split a sandwich and drink ice water (better for you anyway). It's just about being together. Even a walk in the park is nice and sweet.

At October 28, 2009 at 9:40 AM , Blogger Feeling Fit With Dana said...

I have been married for 25 years and I can tell you it isn't without rough patches, but you just work through them and be nice to each other! It all works out :)

Date nights are good!!!

Stopping by from SITS!!

At October 28, 2009 at 10:26 AM , Blogger Fruitful Vine2 said...

So happy you joined in this week's Wifey Wednesday. I enjoyed reading your post. Enjoy the rest of your day.

At October 28, 2009 at 10:41 AM , Blogger Sheila said...

Hi there! Thanks so much for participating in Wifey Wednesday! And I get what you're saying about being busy. It is busy when you have little ones. Really busy. But you can still creatively date! Just every now and then, buy a frozen meal that you don't have to cook, rent a movie, and then snuggle when your baby is in bed!

Just snatch those moments when you can. It sounds like you have a great attitude about marriage!

At October 28, 2009 at 11:03 AM , Blogger Corrie Howe said...

I know I appreciate the same things about my husband. Both our parents insisted that we make date nights a priority. His parents married for 51 years now. Mine 47.

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