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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

September 24, 2009

My friend Amie has ignited this little "mommy spark" inside of me the past couple of weeks that is causing my brain to float around a very strange idea. She has this beauitful little girl, Avery, who is always dressed in her adorable little outfits and dresses with the cute bows and ribbons in her hair. And then there is the pink. And the pretty green. And red [maybe not everyone uses red, but I plan to...hopefully.] My mind has gone to baby mush...this is what I spend time looking at online...

We just aren't at the point where we can have another baby right now. And to be honest, I didn't know that I would even want one after my pregnancy with Noah. I had a looong pregnancy with a lot of aches and pains [both physical and emotional] that I am scared to death to relive. The physical I can handle. But there are still scars from the emotional experiences I went through that I am petrified to encounter again. I worry too, about how I could handle being pregnant with a child. I mean, I know women do it all the time, but I've always wondered how? Especially since I know how TIRED I was the WHOLE time I was pregnant with Noah. I don't know when I would sleep. LOL

Plus we have to look at timing too. With Josh being military and considering a career in the medical field [hence considering...it's what he wants to do, but he's at a crossroads where he doesn't know if that's what God wants. If you guys will, just please remember him in your prayers. It's really stressing him out.] it's hard to even think about another baby. I don't want to bring another child into the picture if Josh is going to be a Doctor...there isn't enough time. For him. Not for me. I've always wanted kids. Atleast 2. I've always wanted to be the soccer, PTA, & Field trip mom. I want to get my degree in English and write professionally when the kid(s) go to school. That way I can work from home and be able to make my own schedule. But with Josh, he has a gift and a passion for the medical field. And I know how involved he gets in his work. And it scares me to death to think of bringing another baby into the picture when he won't have the time that he wants to give them.

Anywho. Just some thoughts for today. I already have a name picked out, by the way. :) Since Noah's name ends in "-AH" and his is all biblical and has significant meaning, I want our other kids names to mean something to. So, if I ever have a little girl her name will be : Rebekah Elizabeth. We will call her "Bekah" and the "Elizabeth" is tradition. My grandmother's middle name was Elizabeth, and so was her grandmothers. And so is mine. And both of those are in the bible. Anyway. Someday. Hopefully. :)

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4 Comments:

At September 24, 2009 at 8:44 PM , Blogger Beth P. said...

Beautiful name! I love all of those bedding sets, too. You have great taste!

 
At September 24, 2009 at 8:51 PM , Blogger Tina said...

One of these days you will be ready!! And hopefully you will get your baby girl, they are precious!!
Like the new header!!

 
At September 24, 2009 at 10:45 PM , Blogger Amie Christine said...

you are precious! :) GOD'S TIMING is best! And if it's in his will for you to have another baby he's gonna get you through the pregnancy, no need to worry about that! Who knows! NEXT pregnancy could be a breeze! Keep your faith silly girl... He's always got it under control! :)

 
At September 25, 2009 at 8:11 PM , Blogger Katy said...

I started reading things on the side to see if I missed something with all the pics of nurseries. Then, I read what followed...that you weren't ready for another child. I will pray for your husband. Uncertainty is difficult to deal with. I had a rough pregnancy too, just physical though. I was blessed with the emotional aspect. Don't know if I want to go through that again either!! At least we both have beautiful boys that we love to death!!!!!

 

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