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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Full Time vs. Part Time

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Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland: Full Time vs. Part Time

Live Beautiful | Courtney Kirkland

July 31, 2009

Full Time vs. Part Time

If you've been reading long, you know that I was considering going back to work part-time at Bayfront Medical Center. They "unofficially" offered me a job in the Trauma Center. A job I was really excited about. I miss working in the hospital. We took Josh to go buy new scrubs for his new job a few weeks ago and it all came flooding back to me, how much I loved my job back in Alabama at the Unit.
The lady told me to go and get my CPR certification renewed and that she would call me with an interview with the Department Director. I never got around to getting it done-and she never called. The day I had my class set up, Josh came home from work really early sick. He spent all day that day in bed and I watched Noah (actually, I deferred Noah to other parts of the house so he wouldn't get whatever his daddy had). I was going to go the next week, but then my PawPaw died and we ended up in Alabama for a week. Now, this week Josh has duty and is finishing up a few orientation classes at Edward White Hospital (his new job) and I still don't have time to go get this certification done. Did I mention, that she never called me with my interview?
I've been doing alot of thinking about it over the past couple of days, and I spent a lot of time praying about it over the last few weeks, and I have decided that this is God's way of telling me that he wants me to be at home with Noah. And I am kind of relieved. True, I get ridiculously bored sometimes sitting at home all day with sometimes absolutely nothing to do. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't want to miss the "first" moments with Noah. I was sitting there the other day watching him pull up on the furniture in the living room and I thought to myself how upset I would be if he took his first steps and I wasn't there to see them. It would break my little mommy heart!
Plus, I also thought about the "seperation anxiety" phase he is in right now. We went to the movies for my birthday the other night and the lady next door that was keeping him said he cried for almost 2 hours after we left. I know that's a phase that he will grow out of, but the idea of him screaming with someone that I don't really even know for several hours upsets me. Granted these people are professionals and whatever, but I am uneasy with the idea of someone that isn't family or a close personal friend being around my son while he pitches his fit. I'm not saying that anything would happen to him, but you can't be too careful with people these days.
And with Josh about to start a second job, I want to make sure that Noah has a constant parental figure there with him all the time. I just have this inkling that if I go back to work that he's going to be spending more time than I realize in someone elses care, and I just really don't want that. God has been slowly revealing all of this to me the past day or two and I'm confident that he has a purpose for me being a stay at home mom. This is what I always said that I wanted when I was growing up. I never made any ultimate, huge career plans. In school when we had to write "when I grow up I want to be..." papers, I always wanted to be a mommy and wife...and maybe a teacher (paid summers off and you work when your kids are at school-still haven't ruled that out completely). I just think this is best right now.
And God is really helping me with the whole boredom thing. I've discovered the wide world of mommy blogging and I'm hooked. I've found so many great reads that occupy me in between cleaning and tidying up and keeping Noah out of stuff. I love to blog. I haven't even checked my facebook because I spend my time on blogger when I get online. This is also fueling my passion to write. I think the good Lord has something up his sleeve with that too, but I will have to wait and see.
If you bloggy friends will, just keep me in your prayers. I've pretty much made up my mind to stay a Full Time Stay at Home mom, but I am hoping to go back to school in January and this is really an area of my life in which I need God's direction and guidance. I am one of those people who would enjoy doing so many things (interior design, graphic/website design, teaching, writing, nursing, psychology) and I don't know what it is that GOD wants me to do. I know he has a will and a plan for me, I just can't figure out what it is. If you will, just keep me in your thoughts and pray that I have the patience and the open heart to hear God's plan for me; and that God will show me in his time. Hope you all have a blessed evening and a Wonderful Weekend! Going now to snuggle up with the hubby and drift off to sleep! Good Night All! :)

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At July 31, 2009 at 10:46 PM , Blogger Veronica Lee said...

Hi! I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.

At July 31, 2009 at 11:59 PM , Blogger Mama Mel said...

I'm sure no matter what you decide it will be good for all of you. I am a stay-at-home mama, and I love it. I do get bored sometimes, but blogging, crafts, and cooking keep me busy, as well as trying to teach my son new things... I also know some really great working mamas too. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday! Have a great day! :)

At August 1, 2009 at 8:45 AM , Blogger Taryn said...

Hi! What a great post. I completely understand how you feel with this situation. I am not a mama, but I know how important it is to be there for children during the early stages.

I was laid off from my job in February, and haven't been able to find work since. Although it's a different situation than yours, I strongly feel that all of this has been a blessing in disguise. I wasn't happy at my last job - at all - so this was God's way of saying, "You deserve better!". And, He is right! Now I have time to work on my Etsy store (which I have been wanting to do for so long), and I get to go back to school in the Fall. I have been blessed with Erik, the most wonderful man who has walked beside me through all of this too. If it wasn't for him, I don't know where I would be!
Sometimes things just happen for a reason!!!
Sorry to have rambled on and on, but your sweet post touched me. You were before me in roll call this morning. Stopping by from SITS to say "HAPPY SATURDAY SHAREFEST"!!!


At August 1, 2009 at 5:40 PM , Blogger carma said...

You seem even a bit relieved that the job did not come about. There's been times when I've thought I wanted something, but was not fully committed in my mind- and I breathed a big sigh of relief when it didn't work out. Your little monkey will be the one who benefits - big time! You are so young there will be plenty of opportunities to come.

At August 1, 2009 at 5:54 PM , Blogger Cindy said...

My son and I participate in ECFE classes here in MN. It is through our school and it has all sorts of classes for he and I to take together. We are also in a local playgroup that is made up of about 15 mom's and their tots. We just joined this last Jan and I love it. Before I was teaching and Drew was in daycare from 4 months until 2 yrs and I hated it. I love being home. He and I can do so much and as Noah gets older you guys will be able to do more too.

About the blogging addiction, I agree. I so rarely check my facebook either anymore.

At August 1, 2009 at 7:17 PM , Blogger Nanny Dee said...

Hi Courtney -- it took me awhile to get over to your blog, but so glad I'm here! Your blog is so pretty and full of beautiful pics of you and your family.

I'm sure this was an agonizing decision, but now you can be fully present at home. Life seems to flow in a series of phases and right now you are in the mommy and young child phase and there will be plenty of time to work or do other things you want to do in another phase. Try to enjoy each one as it comes!

Dee :D

At August 3, 2009 at 8:45 AM , Blogger Kelli said...

God will lead you in the right direction and it does sound like He wants you to be at home. That is a career in itself and I praise anyone who can do it. I'll be praying for you.


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