The Love Dare: Day 8

Love is not Jealous

February 3, 2009

The book described 2 different kinds of jealously:

1. Legitimate Jealousy-jealousy based on Love

2. Illegitimate Jealously- jealousy based on Envy

You may not realize it, but our God is a jealous God. His jealously is legitimate...he wants us to love him more than anything or anyone else. He is the creator of all things, so it's kind of obvious that he and he alone should be in control of our hearts and come first in our lives.

Illegitimate Jealousy is what we all suffer with...that little side of us that wants what other people have. And whether you want to admit it or not, every one of us it guilty of it. We see someone who has things we want and there is a spark of envy inside of us. It could be expensive clothes...a nicer car...a bigger house...you name it, and it's possible that someone somewhere has been jealous of it. We are least likely to be genuinely jealous of people we don't know. Those that we are likely to suffer the most envy of, is people in our own home. That means our spouses. It's easy to say that you aren't jealous of your spouse, but I think it happens more than we'd like to say. You husband gets a big promotion at work, You have a wider circle of friends, Your husband gets to go out with his buddies while you stay home and look after the kids or clean the house...all of these are common situations for that little Green Monster inside of us to show up.

But jealousy can attack the heart of your marriage and poison you from living the life that od intended for you to live, and take away from the love he intended for you to experience. When you got married, you were automatically designated the role of being your spouses biggest fan...you both became one and are to share in the enjoyment the other experiences. Not envy them because they have something more or are doing something better than you are.

"A Loving husband doesn't mind his wife being better at something, having more fun, or getting more applause. He sees her as completing him, not competing with him. When he receives praise, he publicly thanks her for her support in aiding his own success. He refuses to brag in such a way that may cause her to resent him. A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her man when he wins. She does not compare her weaknesses to his strengths. She throws a celebration, not a pity party."

Today's Dare:

Determine to become your spouses biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterdays list of negative attributes and burn them. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

How hard was it to destroy the list? What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your spouse? How can you encourage them toward future success?

Burning the list was easy. It made my house stink for a little while, but very simple. Like I said before, I try to dwell on the positive in people anyways. I came up with a few things that Josh and I can celebrate:

1. Him getting into HS A-School (which is what he wanted)

2. The Spiritual High that he is reaching and the spiritual growth we are both experiencing

3. A growing bond in our marriage

4. Getting to experience's Noah's growth day by day.

For those of you who may be tiring of my Love Dare blog, I will be posting another one as soon as I can. :)