The Love Dare: Day Five

Love is Not Rude

January 31, 2009

Yet again, this one was fairly simple for me. I was born and raised in Alabama with a grandmother who was the epitome of Southern Class and Charm...many of her mannerisms rubbed off on me.

"Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. This could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic comments."

This says that genuine love minds its manners. This is something that I think couples accidentally slip into in marriage. You get married, you see each other during the best and worst days. Early in the morning before coffee, a shower, and makeup. At night before bed when the makeup is off. Little things like closing the bathroom door, burping outloud, etc. can go out the window (I'm adapting a lot of these from "The First 90 Days of Marriage" by Eric and Leslie Ludy...There is a whole section on manners...) People get the wrong idea that since you are married you don't have to be on your best behavior. But having good etiquette raises the level of comfort and respect in your home and around your spouse. If you want your spouse to STOP doing the things that irritate you, then you have to stop doing the things that irritate them.

They listed 3 Guiding Principles to practice etiquette in marriage:

1. Guard the Golden Rule

2. No double standards (Don't make it ok for you to do something, and not ok for them to do it.)
3. Honor Requests (If your spouse asks you for something, do it...with a smile.)

Today's Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from THEIR perspective only.

I asked Josh for 3 things and he says he has to ponder on them. He says that I do spur of the moment things to irritate him, but he can't think of anything off the top of his head that I consistently do. II'm sure he'll come up with something. And I'll post them as soon as he does.